Fuckmalif

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  • Greve, Denmark
  • 30 years-old
  • Thursday 05 January 1995
  • Not specified

About Fuckmalif

Not specified

Fuckmalif - Followers

Fuckmalif - Followed

Fuckmalif's page visits

lovers5201

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Fuckmalif's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.

Night owl

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Picture this FML

You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Happy ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

I liked to the power of 20

You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.

My diary is a collector's item

There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.

Tell us what happened next

You've commented on an FML that you sent in

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 quality comments

Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Socialite

You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.

The list of badges to find

Fuckmalif's favorite FMLs

creepermagnet tells us more.

creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.