Today, my sister's puppy crawled onto my head while I was sitting... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By pissmouth - 31/08/2018 11:09 - Canada - Lower Sackville

Today, my sister's puppy crawled onto my head while I was sitting on the couch and peed on my head. It dripped into my mouth. I rushed into the shower (with a toothbrush) to get cleaned off and ended up vomiting so much that I clogged the drain. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 10

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 266

You deserved it 42 411

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 1 956

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 865

You deserved it 4 374

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 091

You deserved it 39 658

Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 541

You deserved it 6 186

Today, I'm thoroughly convinced that my ex is lying about being in new relationships so she can burrow her way into my head/get my attention. Only problem is, we're in the same social circle, and if I call her on it, I'll look like a jealous idiot and my friends won't back me up. I just want these games to end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 549