Property dispute

By Anonymous - 19/01/2014 22:59 - United States - Dallas

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML
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You deserved it 11 974
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Top comments

P_M95 8

If she truly loves you she shouldn't care what her parents think. As long as you are an honest nice guy.

295 16
hazardmuffin 21

Asking for his blessing would be respecting his view. Asking for permission makes it sound like his daughter's choice isn't really hers, which is where the "tradition" came from. Back when women really DIDN'T have that choice.

150 6

Comments

cutierawrz 14

That's when u just do it anyway and if he says anything tell him you're manning up

1 1
more4me 27

Looks like he gave you permission not to ask permission! Congrats on the engagement!

3 0
ohhaiithere 5

My boyfriend said to me if we end up getting married he would ask my pop and mum for my hand in marriage as I want both of them asked but he would think he would ask my pop as he would walk me down the isle but nope my mum n pop will .. I don't have a father .. Maybe it's what she would want !!

1 2
Audem_fml 27

It's not completely faulse but he doesn't get that you just want to be a polite gentleman.

0 1
annalily5 28

To be honest, as much as my father might love it, if someone asked my dad for PERMISSION to marry me I'd probably kick him out the door. I have an over controlling father with whom I've had to struggle for every inch of my independence. Having a potential husband reinforce my fathers sense of entitled control over me would make me furious. It'd also show my SO had no real sense of me, which is another major problem for someone considering marrying. Sitting down and asking my father and other parents about their feelings on the matter(after having talked and agreed with me about it) would be very good and mature of my SO(I'd do the same with his family) but asking permission is not OK, outdated tradition of treating women like property be damned.

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syed121417 22

People need to calm down. He's not buying her off like a cattle he just want to know that her parents are okay with the marriage. Remember not to take the word "permission" too literally. As a woman, I would want the guy to ask my parents if they were okay with the marriage because I think it shows he cares ago being close with them. People have different opinions on different traditions.

1 3
xReDMemory 28

If he didn't want readers to take 'Permission' literally he should have written 'Blessing'. Unless his intention was not marrying her if the dad says no.

2 0
annalily5 28

Well, as another woman, I'd be very offended. And yes, I will take a word literally when it's no being used in a metaphoric sentence. My consent comes first, then he may talk to my parents(not just my father) about blessings and how they feel. The only permission that should be asked is mine.

2 0
maplecandy 7

Man, she's got an awesome dad. Really, mate, you should have asked for his 'blessing', not his permission. That is pretty sexist.

2 3
syed121417 22

Wanting to know if her parents are okay with the marriage is suddenly sexist? No it's not. As a woman, I would want him to ask my parents to at least know that he cares to be on the same page as them. This isn't an issue and people have to remember everybody thinks differently, but your calling him sexist just because he's traditional which are two distinct things.

2 4
capnbzarr 43

No, it's not "suddenly" sexist. It's been sexist for millennia. But only recently have substantial numbers of people had the freedom of thought to realize this.

3 0
o76923 8

Treating her like property is literally where the idea of asking the father's permission comes from. Marriage used to be a business arrangement between a suitor and the father where a dowry is exchanged for inheritance rights. He isn't being delusional, you just don't know your history.

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syed121417 22

Yes , it stemmed from that, but is he buying her like cattle? Is he not going to ask her to marry him? No he just wanted to know her father didn't hate him. He's not sexist, I feel like people are making this a gender issue when it's not. And maybe she wanted him to ask her father. Personally I DEFENITLY would.

2 4
xReDMemory 28

You don't really know if his intention was marrying her either way or listening to the father. And if it was the former,there's no reason to ask for 'Permission'.

3 0
limabeans101029 20

In a way, I agree with him. She's a grown woman, she shouldn't have to have her daddy's permission to marry the person she wants to marry. It's HER opinion that matters, not her father's.

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