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    : 320



    What would you do?

    Lisania - 11/01/2026 03:00

    Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I'd trusted that he and his ex were “co-parenting” a dog that he and his ex adopted while they were together and nothing more was happening. His ex is pregnant and he’s the father. He insists that he doesn’t love her anymore and it was a “mistake.” He wants me to take him back. FML
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    Sleepy head

    Anonymous - 25/01/2026 09:00

    Today, my son hid under coats and bags in the back seat of my work van to scare me, but fell asleep under there. I didn’t realise this until my wife rang me hysterical that he was missing. I was 80 miles away already on a job when I found the sleepy little git back there. FML
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    Nice guy

    HateCelebz - 27/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I got written up by my line manager for being too friendly to customers. I work in retail, my job is to be friendly. FML
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    Thud

    Dammit - 03/02/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I got home after a long day and collapsed onto my bed… forgetting I'd left my laptop open on it. Now I have an expensive, broken pillow. FML
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    With friends like these…

    Anonymous - 05/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Syracuse

    Today, I found out that the reason all my former friends believed a bunch of rumors about me was because the person they were hearing them from was my former roommate. For two years I wondered why they didn't just ask me, now I know it's because they thought if anyone would know the truth, it would be her. UGH. FML
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    Double whammy

    Anonymous - 24/02/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I had to go to my parents' house and interrupt their "private time" to tell them that grandpa is in the emergency room. For those of you who are wondering if it gets any less traumatizing and/or awkward as an adult: it doesn't. FML
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    Just awesome

    Anonymous - 26/02/2025 20:00 - Belgium - Ferrieres

    Today, it was my first time with my new boyfriend. I told him what an awesome body he has. He seemed a little embarrassed and stuttered, "Uh, well, uh, you have nice eyes." Goodbye self esteem. FML
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    As usual

    jadakorn - - United States

    Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML
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    HELP!

    David - 18/03/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, I was in a public restroom at a concert when I realized I was locked in. The door was jammed, and there was no way out. I knocked, I tried to force it, I even climbed through the air vent to escape, only to end up covered in dust and toilet paper. Meanwhile, people outside could hear me yelling “HELP!” for a solid 20 minutes. FML
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    Big head

    Anonymous - 19/05/2025 13:00 - Lebanon

    Today, it was my girlfriend’s birthday. I was invited to her surprise party and we got there before she arrived. When she came in, she asked the waiters where her friends were, then said, “I saw your head at the end of the restaurant.” She mentioned my head multiple times. I have a big head. FML
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    Get away from me

    IAdoptedACat? - 22/05/2025 17:00 - United States - Tulsa

    Today, I learned that, after catching my newly adopted cat so we could spend some quality time in the closet during a tornado warning, she's unwilling to let me close enough to administer her ear drops. I left my covered parking at work and took hail damage for this. FML
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    Bad week

    poopface82 - 07/06/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, my week started off with cleaning up a literal dumpster fire. Since then, I’ve been falsely accused of stealing someone’s welcome mat, had my water shut off, and had to miss three days of work in order to correct my child care voucher. FML
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    Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?

    Anonymous - 21/06/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I found out that I’ve broken up with every man I’ve dated, teen years to adulthood, for no reason. I left my soulmate convinced my body was rejecting him physically. It turns out I have involuntary pelvic spasms and need therapy to dilate, and also therapy due to anxiety with penetration. FML
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    Teamwork

    Cheifs - 23/06/2025 22:00 - Australia - Darwin

    Today, I joined a Zoom meeting and spent 10 minutes talking about my car issues to a group of strangers who were definitely not my usual team. I then realized I was in a webinar for bird enthusiasts who were too polite to interrupt me talking about transmissions. FML
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    TMI, dude!

    Gwen - 03/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

    Today, at a party, we played the game where the person next to you needs to say something nice about you. My neighbour didn't know me well so he just pointed out I nicely smell like mint. That's when my drunk husband exclaimed, "My gal loves eating my ass, so that's just her mouthwash you just smelled!" FML
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    Sleeping beauty

    Anonymous - 05/08/2025 15:00 - United States - Portland

    Today, I was in a movie theater trying to stay awake during a boring film that my girlfriend really wanted to see. Next thing I know, I’m snoring loudly. My girlfriend sharply nudged me awake, and I realized the people in the row in front of me were giggling at me like I was a hibernating cartoon bear. FML
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    Packed in

    Anonymous - 10/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

    Today, I was on a packed bus when my phone rang. I tried to answer, but my wired earbuds got tangled. I tugged too hard, yanking my phone out of my hand. It flew forward, smacked a man in the forehead, then bounced into a stranger’s coffee cup. FML
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    Nope, no thanks

    Alone - 26/08/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, three members of my five-person polycule moved away, leaving myself and one other girl. I really liked her, so I was okay… until she split because she "didn't want to be in a boring straight relationship." FML
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    Bad timing

    Trashed - 04/10/2025 22:00

    Today, I'm getting ready to move and so I woke up early to get a bunch of trash to put out. For months our pickup has been so late, it usually happens the next day. Today they came at 6:30 AM, while I was in the bathroom. Nothing was put out yet. FML
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    On the spot

    Sketchychick - 17/10/2025 09:00

    Today, during my first day at my new job, my manager told everyone to “share one fun fact about yourself.” I panicked and blurted out, “I once accidentally washed my passport.” Everyone laughed, which was fine until my boss said, “So that’s why your background check is taking so long?” FML
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    Halloween is near

    Party's Over - 28/10/2025 20:00

    Today, like we do every year, we watched a documentary show's annual Halloween special. Everything is set: food, location, the works. Our so-called uber-religious mom, who always opposes to this because it's "inauspicious", right before it started, hijacked the TV to stay in one channel, The 24-Hour Bible Channel. FML
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    Evil, prank, or just dumb?

    Anonymous - 03/11/2025 00:00

    Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
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    Buddy boy

    Anonymous - 08/11/2025 09:00

    Today, at the park, a toddler ran up to me yelling “Daddy!” and hugged my legs. Trying to be nice, I patted his head and said, “Hey, buddy, I’m not your dad.” His actual dad appeared behind me, wearing the same shirt, same haircut, and looked at me like I’d just tried to kidnap his child. FML
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    Hey big spender!

    Anonymous - 11/11/2025 22:00

    Today, I received a food delivery. The bag was huge. I thought the restaurant had made a mistake and given me extra food. I checked the receipt; it said, “Special note: For our hungriest customer. Extra napkins!” They'd remembered me from last time I ordered a ton of food. FML
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    Inside job

    Anonymous - 15/11/2025 12:00

    Today, my coworkers were always too nice, and I thought it was suspicious. I asked my boss why my shifts were vanishing and she finally that admitted everyone thinks I’m “too slow.” So the niceness was fake and I was the inside joke the whole time. I quit on the spot… then remembered I’m a broke uni student with no backup plan. FML
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    Tired and emotional

    Tired mommy - 19/11/2025 00:00

    Tonight, my 7-year-old begged me for a bedtime story. Ten minutes in, I was the one nodding off while he was wide awake. I fell asleep mid-sentence because he gently shook me and said, “Mom, you snore like a Grandpa.” Then he asked if I could “try again but stay awake this time.” FML
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    Many such cases

    Lonely Melanie - 20/11/2025 20:00

    Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML
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    Awkward

    - 01/12/2025 12:00

    Today, I told my boyfriend about something that had happened “after you came to our school." He told me he'd gone to our school for every grade. I'd just never noticed him. FML
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    Test run

    Naughty! - 17/12/2025 12:00

    Today, I took my new dog to a hotel lobby to test his manners before travel. He sniffed politely, then sneezed a dramatic snot-spritz all over a wedding guest’s dress. She froze, then laughed nervously while I offered napkins like a panicked but well-meaning emergency worker. FML
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    Sexy talk

    Anonymous - 29/12/2025 20:00

    Today, after my cute girlfriend got out of the shower and was walking over to our bed. I asked, "Now that you're all clean, want to sit on my face?" To which she replied, "Ya sure, I've not gone poop yet." FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my partner proposed to me during an anniversary dinner at a small, quiet Italian restaurant near where we live. We'd never been before, but the food was great, and the staff lovely. It all would have been perfect, if not for the dozens of pictures of Mr. Bean which covered every wall. FML
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    Today, my dad's psycho ex broke in and had a meltdown about how he's dating another woman now. She's barely 100 pounds, yet it took me and my brother several minutes and one smashed shin to finally manage to drag her out of the house, all while my dad called the cops. FML
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    Today, in order to bump my grade up from total failure to the lowest possible passing grade, my training examiner eventually agreed to raise my score by one pity point for spelling my own name correctly on the exam paper, after I told him I had to pass the course or be fired from my job. FML
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    Today, it snowed. Rather than enjoy the view, my roommate had to complain every five minutes about the mentally challenged neighbor shovelling snow all day long. As long as he doesn't shovel it into my yard, I really don't care what he does to pass the time in lockdown. FML
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    Today, my man has quit watching porn for "health benefits." Before, he only wanted sex once or twice a month. Now it's almost every damn night. Every time I try to convince him to go back to porn, he throws a tantrum. FML
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    Today, during a Zoom meeting to discuss genetic disorders, my mom chose to share my challenges and experiences. I might have approved, had she acknowledged my presence and asked my permission instead of speaking before me. Thanks Mom. FML
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