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Product placement

By Anna - 14/11/2025 00:00

Today, half-asleep, I stumbled into the bathroom in the dark. I didn’t notice my boyfriend had yet again left the toilet seat up. I sat down, fell halfway in, screamed, and in my panic flushed the toilet with my phone in my hand. Goodbye, my little Samsung friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 348

Happy birthday indeed

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 15:00

Today, it was my birthday. I had an appointment at the dentist and went to do some shopping after that. A while after I got home, I met my dad and he just started complaining that I didn't spend any time with them on my birthday. When I tried to explain to him, he just got angry at me and started yelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 66

WAKEY WAKEY

By Anonymous - 19/11/2025 09:00

Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 483

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 00:00

Today, I got off my night shift late, slept for two hours, then went volunteering - playing piano in the atrium. I was sitting on no sleep so I started messing up a lot, then a patient started giving me death stares. I took my eyes off him, then looked at him again and he fell to the ground. Was the song that bad? FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 94

You made me realise

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 15:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were together for 10 months when he told me I’m the only person he’s ever been with who’s made him feel safe and able to be vulnerable and open up for the first time… and made him realise he has trauma to work through. He then dumped me on the spot so he could work through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 70

Give us both pain meds, please

By It hurts - 08/12/2025 22:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. Wanting to seem like a responsible owner, I lifted him onto the exam table. My back then cracked loudly, I dropped him, and he ran straight into a trash can. The vet sighed and asked, “Rough day for both of you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 109

Pure class

By Lisandra - 16/12/2025 00:00

Today, I confronted my boyfriend about his infidelity. I saw him at the mall with another woman at Victoria's Secret, and I took pictures from a distance. When I asked him why he did it, he told me, "If you have $20 to your name and you see a $100 bill on the ground, you're gonna pick it up, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 98

TGIF

By Anonymous - 19/12/2025 15:00

Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 378

Yay, Christmas! It's the most wonderful time of the year!

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 09:00

Today, I loved my girlfriend so much until she broke up with me right before Christmas, I was sad but, I understood. I would always vent to my bestie of 5 years and she said I was being too dramatic, and I wasn't even supposed to feel sad about it. I've spent Christmas being depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 101

Close call

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 00:00

Today, I slipped on a wet floor in the grocery store. Instead of falling gracefully or quickly, I windmilled my arms for a few seconds while making direct eye contact with a toddler who looked genuinely impressed. I didn’t fall, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 92

I'm out

By tired af - 25/01/2026 20:00

Today, I’m a nurse on night shift and I went to a daytime family brunch without adjusting my sleep schedule. Halfway through a serious conversation about finances, I nodded off and started dreaming I was charting vitals. I woke up mid-sentence saying, “Blood pressure stable,” to my aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 70

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/01/2026 00:00

Today, I learned a valuable life lesson : Never attempt to swallow your pills with a swig of hot tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 351

Baller

By Anonymous - 03/02/2026 15:00

Today, I went to a coffee shop with the change I got back after buying a ball. After having waited in line for around twenty minutes, I was told that only credit cards were allowed. I'd left my wallet in my car because I thought I didn't need it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 139

Let's get it on

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 03:00

Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 83

It's just a vibe thing

By Cuckolded by tech - 08/02/2026 22:00

Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 118

In the Navy

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 12:00

Today, while I was sleeping on the sofa, my sister yelled right in my ear, "Attention on deck !" I jumped up so fast because I thought a superior officer had just walked in that I tripped over my own feet and smashed into our mom's glass fronted display case full of porcelain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 84

Sinking pirate ship

By Rachel - 17/02/2026 20:00

Today, I wanted to stream my favourite show illegally, but it turns out the website got shut down and anyone affiliated would face fines. It's a bit of a shame because I had one episode left in the last season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 272

Weird rules

By angel - 26/02/2026 20:00

Today, I was told to kill myself. Why? Because I DARED to put on deodorant when it’s cold outside. Apparently, you’re only supposed to need it when it’s hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 52

The other shoe will drop

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 03:00

Today, I survived the last round of layoffs. What didn't survive is my team, my manager, and my tasks. Now I'm "reporting" to a VP who used to be three levels above me and has never heard of me. I'm waiting for HR to wake up and realize that this change literally means I get six figures for doing nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 103

Strained out

By Anonymous - 05/03/2026 22:00

Today, my parents happily announced that they're getting remarried. They divorced because of the strain brought on by me nearly dying in a car accident. So basically they put us through all that shit, including me blaming myself for everything, for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 66

RIP MIL

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 20:00

Today, my mother-in-law died but my husband still insists that we go on our family spring break vacation. I don't want to because I loved my MIL and our kids are absolutely distraught and don't want to go anymore, plus we would miss the funeral if we went. But he refuses to cancel or postpone. He's being selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 47

Good start

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 15:00 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, our new co-worker started her job as member of our customer service team. It took some time to find someone good, so we were very happy to have her. After a few hours of explanation, it was time for her to log into her account with her work e-mail. Then she asked how our company name was written. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 117

Bundled

By Anonymous - 01/04/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I cancelled all my streaming subscriptions and signed up for a “bundle deal” to save money. Turns out the deal was just all my old subscriptions repackaged under a new name. I’m still paying the same price, but now with ads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 465

How's it going?

By Only me - 10/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was texting my mom about a surprise visit, and autocorrect changed "surprise" to "surgery." I hit send before noticing, and now she thinks I’m planning some major medical procedure, and has been calling me nonstop to check if I’m OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 121

Mystery box

By why - 11/06/2025 22:00 - Netherlands

Today, I cleaned out my filthy car. I found an odd, unlabeled tin under the seat, and opened it out of curiosity. It sprayed stinking juice everywhere and filled the house with a horrifying smell. It was Surströmming, half rotten fish, that someone must have stuck in as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 244

How did you not feel it?

By Anonymous - 15/06/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I wore new trousers to work. As I walked to my desk, I noticed a weird damp patch near my zip. Panicking, I thought I'd pissed myself. I rushed to the bathroom, then figured out that it was the condensation from my lunch container, which was in my bag that I had on my lap during the bus ride to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 137

Groundwork for groundwork

By Anonymous - 25/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to have session 0 of an online tabletop RPG campaign. My laptop's screen decided it no longer wants to display anything. I've only had this laptop for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 76

Scarred for life

By Mortified - 22/07/2025 22:00 - South Africa

Today, I meant to send a spicy message to my partner, but sent it to my dad due to the Whatsapp conversations being next to each other on my computer screen, and me not paying attention due to being an idiot. My dad replied, “Uh... not sure I needed that mental image.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 582

Burnout

By Anonymous - 29/07/2025 15:00 - Peru - Lima

Today, after I was feeling overwhelmed and in the middle of a big burnout thanks to my job, my doctor told me to use anxiolytics for only three days. In those three days I lost focus, I was sleepy all the time, and I made some big mistakes, so in the end I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 119

I know what I'm doing

By M…… - 06/08/2025 00:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 126

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 112

Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 163

Today, I arrived at work, only to be arrested and accused of stealing over $8000 from my job. Five hours later at the police station, the discovery was made that the actual thief had an employee ID one digit different than mine. He works at another location over 1200 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 381

You deserved it 2 772

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 805

You deserved it 174 904

Today, I found out my boyfriend had bought me sexy lingerie for our anniversary. However, they're for for a bigger bust. When I asked if I could return it for the right size, he asked me to get a boob job to fit the bra instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 251

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 273

You deserved it 6 740