App

FMyLife

search






FMyLife FMyLife
search
​



    : 320



    Early Christmas party

    - 03/12/2025 20:00

    Today, I apologised to my colleagues on Teams for leaving the Christmas party early. The only responses were that they didn’t realise I was actually there, or didn’t even know who I am. FML
    302
    73
      

    Twerking is for special occasions

    - 05/12/2025 15:00

    Today, I literally had to say the words, “Please stop twerking” to my niece. She’s seven. FML
    312
    68
      

    Not now, Mon!

    Anonymous - 10/12/2025 22:00

    Today, I tried to show my boss a funny photo on my phone. As I handed it over, a notification popped up from my mom that said, “Did you finally meet a nice boy or are you still feral?” FML
    329
    100
      

    Smash that button

    Ihategamersex - 26/12/2025 20:00

    Today, my boyfriend, who is a full-time gamer, said to me during sex, "I want to right click you so bad." FML
    246
    98
      

    Resolutions come and go

    Anonymous - 06/01/2026 12:00

    Today, I tried a new workout class as part of my New Year's resolution to get fit. The instructor said, “Don’t worry, we’ll start easy.” Twenty minutes in, I was flat on the floor while everyone else continued effortlessly. When the instructor asked if I was OK, I gave a thumbs-up, but I haven’t been able to sit down since. FML
    313
    108
      

    Lost in time

    Anonymous - 13/01/2026 15:00

    Today, I told a coworker, “Enjoy your weekend!” out of pure muscle memory. It was Monday morning. They stared at me for a full second before quietly saying, “I will... in five days.” FML
    143
    265
      

    Triggered

    Anonymous - 15/01/2026 09:00

    Today, I added a new trigger for my debilitating migraines: presentations shown on projectors - BAM; went to the movies - BAM; went to a concert - BAM BAM BAM. Apparently big screens trigger them now, in addition to sleep or meal disruption, hormones or stress. FML
    356
    56
      

    False alarm

    Bad nurse - 18/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I spent ten minutes comforting a patient’s family member, reassuring them everything was under control. When I went to leave, I realized I’d been leaning on the call button the entire time. Three other nurses ran in ready for an emergency while I was mid-sentence about coping strategies. FML
    92
    309
      

    Hashtag health goals

    Not that old!! - 26/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I’m a retiree who recently joined a gym for the first time. The trainer asked me what my goals were. I said, honestly, “To not fall over.” He nodded and wrote it down. Later I saw my workout plan titled: ANTI-FALL PROTOCOL. Other gym members now ask me how my falling is going. FML
    251
    78
      

    Hell no!

    AnnoyedAF - 09/02/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I found out that my mother has been making videos every time she babysits my kids (who are 2 and 6 years-old) and uploading them to YouTube. She's retired, but out of boredom and need for attention, she seems to have tried making a family vlog channel, but with MY kids. FML
    598
    105
      

    Read the room

    Sarah - 11/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Austin

    Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML
    99
    629
      

    Nice try

    Alissa - 09/03/2025 19:00 - United States

    Today, my 5 year-old son told me that while I was at work, “Daddy was blowing up Aunt Heather’s balloons.” When I talked to my husband about this, he hastily told me it was for her birthday party. Her birthday is in July. Nice save… not. FML
    402
    99
      

    The golden cousin

    Anonymous - 05/04/2025 15:00 - Canada

    Today, I went to a family reunion and made the mistake of wearing the same shirt as my cousin, who is known for always wanting to be the center of attention. She took one look at me, pointed, and said, “Oh, I see you’re copying me now, huh?” Then, my aunt overheard and said, “Well, she is your cousin, so it’s not like it’s a crime.” FML
    338
    65
      

    Performance art

    Christine - 09/04/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I was in a video call with my boss when my Wi-Fi decided to take a vacation. I thought I could salvage the situation by using my iPhone’s hotspot. But then my phone ran out of data mid-sentence, and my boss got a glimpse of me cursing at my phone while frantically waving it in the air. FML
    340
    115
      

    Extreme dieting

    Kaemeleon - 22/05/2025 04:00 - Hong Kong - Tai Wai

    Today, a day after after I took a diet pill, I participated in a sprint test. I shat in my pants. I finished the test but got a bad grade. FML
    329
    209
      

    Bastard

    NeverLetMeDownAgain - 12/06/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, it’s the 20th consecutive day of my ex blanking me on WhatsApp. I wouldn’t mind, but I hadn’t messaged him for over a year, and I’m just trying to collect some of my stuff he was holding for me in time for my Mum’s funeral, like my suit. He knows when the funeral is; it’s in 5 days time. FML
    407
    146
      

    The more you know

    Anonymous - 03/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Sacramento

    Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a stranger. We made awkward small talk until the elevator started smelling like something was burning. Turns out, the elevator was overheating. We had to spend 30 minutes stuck there, and I learned way too much about this guy’s weird foot fungus. FML
    395
    61
      

    Say it, don't spray it

    Yak - 09/08/2025 13:00 - United States

    Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
    435
    52
      

    How could you be so heartless?

    Bruh - 11/08/2025 08:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

    Today, my mother and my sister chewed me out for not attending my sister's birthday party. I'm sorry for having both of my fucking legs broken in a motorcycle accident. FML
    525
    63
      

    Law and order

    Karen - 15/08/2025 03:00

    Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
    437
    102
      

    Sabotage

    FuckUp - 24/08/2025 00:00 - Germany

    Today, I can't afford to lose my job but I've been consciously sabotaging my job for months now. My manager pulled me aside to let me know that I am untrustworthy and need to improve. I'm smart and have no idea why I'm doing this to myself. I had a great work ethic in my previous job, even winning awards for it. FML
    131
    499
      

    Respect the hustle

    Anonymous - 05/09/2025 12:00 - South Africa - Nelspruit

    Today, I found out, after months of being made to think I'm crazy, that my girlfriend has a complete online presence across 10+ cam/OnyFans/websites/Telegram, etc. It's my biggest trigger, my previous partner did the same on a much bigger scale. She denied it to the point of me moving out. FML
    454
    101
      

    Kinda gross

    Anonymous - 21/09/2025 09:00

    Today, while stripping the bed, I noticed black dots on my husband's side of the mattress, and only on his side. That’s when I realised it was mould, because he doesn’t like to towel dry, he likes to let the fan dry him while he’s lying on the bed wet and warm, perfect for mould. Idiot. FML
    420
    78
      

    Desperate housewives

    Anonymous - 02/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I thought I was waving at my neighbor, who was also waving enthusiastically back. After smiling and gesturing, I realized she was actually cleaning her windows. I was flirting with Windex. FML
    252
    175
      

    Dodger

    Abandoned - 29/10/2025 12:00

    Today, I went on a Tinder date that was going surprisingly well. After dinner, she excused herself to the restroom… and never came back. I sat there for 25 minutes before realizing she had texted me: “Sorry, I saw my ex here and panicked. Hope you enjoy the fries.” I did not. FML
    475
    66
      

    Oh shit

    TGIF - 09/11/2025 00:00

    Today, I received a package labeled “Confidential.” Excited, I opened it in front of my coworkers, thinking it was a PR gift. It was the new toilet seat I'd mistakenly sent to my work address instead of my house. FML
    79
    454
      

    Freud would have field day

    Anonymous - 10/11/2025 20:00

    Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML
    288
    124
      

    Honey, I'm home!

    Anonymous - 26/11/2025 20:00

    Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
    325
    86
      

    Nature calls

    Anonymous - 03/12/2025 22:00

    Today, I was out hiking when I needed to go pee. I thought no one was there because it isn't popular so I pulled down my pants. I heard footsteps so I pulled my pants back up and kept walking. There were people behind me, and one of them came up and said, "Hey, your undies are showing." I was wearing hot pink ones. FML
    128
    320
      

    Make it stop

    Christ on.a bike - 21/12/2025 15:00

    Today, I wore my Christmas sweater to work, one with lights sewn into it. Halfway through a meeting, they started flashing uncontrollably and playing tinny carols. I couldn’t turn them off. I had to go shove the whole sweater into a locker in the basement. FML
    210
    304
      
    • 99
    • 100
    • 101
    • 102
    • 103
    • 104
    • 105
    • 106
    • 107
    • 108

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I really didn't want to go to work. Still, I showed up for work early on the busiest night of the week and stayed back until past 10 p.m. Exhausted, I went to sign off the roster when I realised that, in fact, I was not rostered on for today at all. I'm on tomorrow, though. FML
    11 906
    3 533
    Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML
    40 269
    3 714
    Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML
    49 484
    4 544
    Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
    31 869
    5 610
    Today, I found out why the only business in town that operates in my chosen industry won’t hire me. Several months ago, my father antagonised the owner, bringing up my name in the process. I haven’t spoken to the man in five years. FML
    1 100
    73
    Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
    44 944
    12 010

    © VDM SAS,

    ​