The Top

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Lipstick drama

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 609

You deserved it 3 238

Howdy!

By welcome to the neighborhood - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 788

You deserved it 1 904

Acceptance

By Tina - 10/03/2026 20:00

Today, I realized how bad my family is as I slept over at my girlfriend's house and I finally got all the reasons why I like being there: I love her parents like they're mine. They give me, as well as her, lots of hugs, tell me they care about me, and make me feel welcome. Why aren't my folks like that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 38

This is going to get messy

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 22:00

Today, my sister who I'm being a surrogate for told me that she changed her mind and doesn't want kids anymore. It's way too late for me to have an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 58

Criminal behavior

By Get ur own spot fuckr - 11/03/2026 03:00

Today, I loosened the lug nuts on a guy's tires since he won't stop parking in my assigned spot and the rental authority refused to do anything. His tire flew off as he was tearing down the highway and he totaled his car. Now I might get charged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 528

Winning, so much winning

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 15:00

Today, and for the past 6 months of unemployment, I’ve realized my life is spiraling downward fast. Years of hard work, sacrifice, honors from top schools, and constant validation, JUST TO GET BRUTALLY ASSFUCKED BY THE GODDAMN JOB MARKET. It feels like everything I worked for went down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 6

Be quiet

By type quiet - 11/03/2026 00:00

Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 62

Very irritable bowel syndrome

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 09:00

Today my wife made something from ultra salty fish she bought, and it was horrible. It set off my sensitive bowels within minutes. Now 15 hours later I’ve just had my first dry fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 24

Destination funerals

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 12:00

Today, my parents said we can't go to our grandma's funeral because it's going to be held in Hawaii in accordance with her wishes and we can't afford to travel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 10

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someone's neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage, but I guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 314

You deserved it 8 038

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 413

You deserved it 5 256

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 487

You deserved it 9 338

Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 896

You deserved it 4 537

Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 262

Today my college professor told me that I ask him too many questions. Apparently, my college tuition fee doesn't include learning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 636

You deserved it 261