Your everyday life stories

ImSuchALoser - 29/04/2018 14:25

Today, in music class, I was playing my violin, which I’ve only been learning for a month. I was playing a piece I had practiced my butt off to perfect, when my crush came up to me and went, “No offence, but I really hate the violin. And your screechy playing just makes it worse.” FML

"younglogic" - 29/04/2018 09:48

Today I decided I would DM this cute girl I've liked since high school. I said "hey, how's it going? haven't talked to you in awhile!" she said "lol" and blocked me. FML

CantTouchThis - 29/04/2018 09:28

Today, my mother-in-law told me that my autistic son is “so dramatic you'd think he was a girl.” FML

Anonymous - 29/04/2018 06:53

Today, I discovered that certain muscle relaxers can be taken together. I was misinformed about what the one med was, and thought I would OD if I took them both. So for a few days now, I’ve been in unnecessary severe pain. Stupid pharmacist didn’t correct me what I said I couldn’t take the one med. FML

scorned - 29/04/2018 06:28

Today, the guy I have been seeing insisted on being exclusive about a week ago. I got a text in the middle of the night saying he’s hooking up with a past fling. So much for exclusivity. FML

Anonymous - 29/04/2018 06:24

Today, my brother got his 3rd tv, this goes perfectly with his xbox 360, ps4, ps3, and top of the line gaming computer. My mom grounded me and threatened to cancel my phone number because I didn't do my laundry in time. My brother had clothes in the washer and dryer that has"getting tomorrow". I'm 18. He's 15. FML

The ultimate third wheeler - 29/04/2018 03:41

Today, my two friends abandoned me in the movie theater, so they could sneak off and do the nasty in the car. They even had the audacity to tell me the details. FML

Anonymous - 28/04/2018 21:40

Today, the screen of the Samsung s7 I bought for $399 only a month ago cracked. Usually I wouldn't be too angry, but it was in my empty pocket while sitting when this happened. FML

HelpMeImPoor - 28/04/2018 16:05

Today, I got my wrist sprained because a student of mine beat me up. I have the choice of working for half pay with the job of cutting paper and typing, or being sent home for a week without pay. I guess I didn't need my wrist anyway. FML

akash - 28/04/2018 09:00 - United States

Today, despite meditating, cutting out sugar, exercising during the day, turning off all electronics after 10 pm, and taking melatonin, I still could not fall asleep. Meanwhile, my roommate, who stays on her computer all day and brings her phone into bed, slept like a baby. FML

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"ch,nlv" - 28/04/2018 12:10

Today, my whole class hates me because a guy asked me out and I said no. I'm also a guy and not gay. My class thinks I'm homophobic. FML

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- 28/04/2018 06:03

Today, I realised that the lecture halls are so far away from my hostel that my smart watch auto-starts a workout every time I walk to class. 6 semesters to go. FML.

D!3ZL - 28/04/2018 00:38

Today, I swiped on an anonymous pic on Tinder and my mom’s phone dinged sitting next to me. FML

SwipeLeeeeft - 27/04/2018 20:42

Today, Tinder matched me with my cheating ex husband. For the 2nd time. FML

CreeptacularBait - 27/04/2018 19:57

Today, I woke up early so I could get work done and be productive. I promptly began puking my guts out till I started puking blood and bile. FML

Wetwetwet - 27/04/2018 14:59 - United Kingdom - London

Today, in the bathroom at work, I knocked my phone from the countertop into the sink. When I reached to pick it up, my handset off the automatic tap, soaking my phone. FML

ThomasM - 27/04/2018 15:51

Today, I decided to wear jeans for the first time all year, after never wearing anything except Adidas sweat pants. Not even five minutes in, I got made fun of because apparently they're "mom jeans". I guess I'm not wearing jeans ever again. FML

- 27/04/2018 12:05

Today my dad and I were hanging out he had been drinking before I showed up. He drunkenly told me about how he was glad I never dated the neighbors daughter, because it was actually my step sister. I wouldn't have cared much except I had an intimate relationship with her at one point. FML

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ForeverAlone - 27/04/2018 10:32

Today, I was at a coffee shop when I saw my crush sitting at a table in front of me. I decided to take a Snap and caption it “current status: stalking bae.” It was for my BFF, but somehow I accidentally sent it to everyone in my Friends (including my crush) AND posted it on my public story. FML

AloneForever - 27/04/2018 07:26

Today, my mom told me, "You should go on a date sometime, maybe a double date with your sister? A good way for you to meet a significant other." I thought this was funny, so I told my sister. She replied, "I would never go on a double date with you. No offense." FML

"TheZombieGirl" - 27/04/2018 03:48

Today, I received an amazing, I love you text from my long time crush who so happens to be my best friend of 2 years. I smiled so big my dad looked over at me and said he doesn't want me to be friends with "that guy" anymore because he's too distancing for me and my future goals. FML

Maybe gay? - 27/04/2018 03:43

Today, I had the best sex of my life during my first three ways with my girlfriend and her male friend. Unfortunately for my girlfriend, her friend was more interested in banging me and I enjoyed it more than being with a woman. FML.

Otaku-San 14 - 27/04/2018 02:38

Today, while driving home from school someone lit a firecracker which caused a blood vessel in my eye to pop. I’m just as confused as you are. FML

fuckabletherapist - 26/04/2018 21:03 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I was broken up with by my girlfriend of over a year. We got together when she took time out of Uni, and I supported her with her mental health until she was ready to come back. Apparently she's fine now, and I'm no longer required. We'd planned a future together. FML

- 26/04/2018 21:26

Today, while playing golf, my dad's wedge broke off his club and hit me in the mouth. I had to visit the dentist and it took 3 hours to fix it. FML

- 26/04/2018 20:34

Today, I bought my daughter a cell phone. Her dad called her and she screamed "Mom, how do I turn the vibrator off?" FML

"ch,nlv" - 26/04/2018 20:04

Today, my parents called me a slut for getting pregnant and refuse to talk to me again. The only problem is that I'm 27, married and this will be my second child. FML

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TP is Money!

Б. Амарсанаа - 26/04/2018 13:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my boss said I use too much toilet paper when I go to the toilet. Our floor has over 20 workers and 2 toilets. FML

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Sydney - 26/04/2018 17:39

Today, I received a notification that my Facebook post had been shared over one thousand times. I was trying to find a couple who stole from us after we took them in. Apparently the boyfriend robbed a bank last week, hence the massive amount of shares. What a way to wake up. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after months of planning, I finally got my first tattoo: my cat's paw print. I love it so I showed my friends pictures. One said it looks like poop and the other said it looks like I have a disease. FML

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Today, my friend received a package I sent her by mail. The package was already ripped open on arrival, two out of the three blouses I sent her were missing and a limited edition glass cup I sent her with the apparel was smashed. FML

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Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

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Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

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Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML

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Today, my 6-month-old daughter decided she'd scream every time I'd answer her cries instead of her daddy. He just left for a 12-hour shift at work. Only 11 more hours to go. FML

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