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    : 320



    Stolen valor

    Anonymous - 21/06/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, I got a text from my mom that said, “I’m so proud of you!” I immediately replied, “Thanks, Mom!” Then I realized it was meant for my sister, and my mom had accidentally texted me instead of her. FML
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    The main attraction

    Born Slippy - 23/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was walking on a rainy pavement in new shoes. Suddenly, I slipped, flailed my arms wildly, and landed flat on my back. The worst part? I was in front of a pub window. It was the middle of the day but still had people in it. Thankfully, no one applauded, because British people prefer to smirk in silence. A kid did give me a thumbs-up, which was nice. FML
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    Still on the hook

    Just too submissive - 24/06/2025 22:00 - Netherlands

    Today, my ex said he was coming by to get some of his stuff, and that if I wanted to talk, I should be on my knees in my best lingerie. I was furious and wrote a text telling him how awful and misogynistic he was… then deleted it, put on my best lingerie, and am now waiting by the door on my knees for him. FML
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    Thank you for your service

    Too Fat4 U - 01/07/2025 18:00 - United States

    Today, I heard the guy I love talk to a friend of his. He was telling his friend how he appreciates all my attention, affection, and random gestures such as buying him lunch sometimes, but he’ll never see me in a romantic way because I’m “too fat for his taste.” I was basically used the entire time. FML
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    Just put it on, dude

    BING BING BING - 07/07/2025 16:00 - Japan - Tokyo

    Today, I started a road trip with friends. The friend who is driving doesn't wear seat belts. BING BING BING. 400 miles to go. BING BING BING. FML
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    Shy guy

    Jen - 09/07/2025 04:00 - Romania

    Today, I took my son to a birthday party. He spent the entire time clinging to my hand and refused to play with his friends, eat, or participate in activities. His friend tried to pull him away from me, but he refused to go. When we left, he started crying because he felt left out. FML
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    Betrayed

    Anonymous - 10/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I found out that my husband never actually took our new healthy lifestyle seriously when his coworker told me that now, instead of at the house, he keeps beer and cigars at his brother's house, and visits the Burger King drive through every day for lunch. FML
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    Magic morning treat fairy

    PuppiesKisses - 14/07/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, my corgi brought her new favorite treat into my bed: a rotting deer hoof with six inches of leg. She left it on my pillow, and the smell woke me up. She wasn't even on the bed when I woke up. FML
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    The Boo Radleys?

    Anonymous - 18/07/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I was running late and tried to sneak out of the house without waking anyone up. My phone alarm, which I forgot was set on max volume, blasted a loud “WAKE UP!” at 7 AM right as I opened the front door. Everyone in the house was wide awake instantly. FML
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    WHAT DO YOU WANT?

    Anonymous - 19/07/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML
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    Many such cases

    Anonymous - 27/07/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I received an office-wide email about our new boss. I meant to forward it to my friend with, “He looks like he eats mayonnaise straight from the jar.” However, I hit "Reply All" instead. Including said new boss. FML
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    Wine about it

    Anonymous - 30/07/2025 06:00 - United States

    Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML
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    Just take the W

    sexy…i guess - 02/08/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, I found out that my sister’s friends think I’m “hot” and “sexy.” They’re nine. FML
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    Take a seat

    Anonymous - 04/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I went to sit on my bed in the pitch black and I somehow completely misjudged where I was standing in the room, so I missed the bed entirely and sat down on thin air. With nothing to stop me falling, I landed full bore on my ass and felt my coccyx snap. FML
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    Freak out

    Brave - 06/08/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML
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    Red flag

    WTF - 08/08/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I was interviewing someone for a job at my restaurant. When I said ,"We're like a family here," she wordlessly got up and left. FML
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    Knock yourself out

    Anonymous - 09/08/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, my package with two brand new toys got delivered to the wrong apartment. Somewhere in this apartment complex, a stranger is either judging me or having the best day of their life. FML
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    She's lost control again

    Taylor - 11/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

    Today, I was trying on jeans in a store. Thinking the changing room door was locked, I stripped down to my underwear. Suddenly, an elderly woman opened the door, stepped in, and said, “Oh, I thought this was the toilet.” We locked eyes for an eternity before she backed out. I felt obligated to buy the jeans to regain some control of my life. FML
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    Clout chasing

    Samantha - - Singapore

    Today, I turned 22. Instead of cutting my own cake, I stood by and smiled at a friend's belated birthday party. Her birthday was actually two months ago, but she decided to have her party on my birthday. No one remembered mine but everyone got her beautiful gifts. FML
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    Scurry away

    Philomena87 - 19/08/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I went to do laundry in my apartment building. I thought no one was around, so I walked down in my pajamas (a giant t-shirt with holes and socks with sandals). Of course, I ran into the neighbor I’ve had a crush on for months. He was shirtless, holding a laundry basket like an ad for cologne. He smiled and said, “Nice, erm, outfit?” I’ve never sprinted back upstairs faster. FML
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    Don't worry, we don't snitch here!

    Anonymous - 22/08/2025 21:00 - Singapore - Singapore

    Today, my so-called friend snitched to the teachers that I was the admin of the school confessions page and I got scolded after school. FML
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    Dinner is on me

    I have no words - 24/08/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, after a long and exhausting day at work, I had no energy to do much of anything, so with that in mind, I got Arby's on the way home. When I did get home and was trying to carry the bag inside, it ripped open and spilled my food all over the driveway. FML
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    Basic private equity tactic

    Left out - 26/08/2025 03:00 - Poland - Warsaw

    Today, the guy I picked on in high school got his revenge. He bought out my dad's car shop above market value and then closed it. My dad doesn't care, he gets to retire early, while I get to watch something I'd hoped to inherit get torn down and sold off. FML
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    Moo

    Moo - 27/08/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I had to sleep in a room with my son, since we are visiting relatives at a farm. Every time a cow moos, he says "Cow". I can't sleep. FML
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    Toxic workplace

    Keerah - 31/08/2025 13:00 - Russia - Kolomna

    Today, at work, I wondered: What's worse than a psychotic, gaslighting supervisor with his classic "You are worthless!" and "I never said/did that!" and other variations? A combination of said character with an autistic employee who panics at every such situation to the brink of peeing themself. I hate being that employee. FML
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    Turn it off

    Sleepless - 04/09/2025 00:00 - Germany

    Today, my wife whined that she couldn't sleep, while she had her eyes glued to her phone, her Switch in her lap, the TV on, and her bedside light shining in her face. I've long since learned not to comment on this. FML
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    Temptation… barbecue?

    being loyal sucks - 05/09/2025 13:00 - United States

    Today, I went to a colleague's house for a barbecue. Another colleague's wife was there, and when I say there were sparks between us, there were SPARKS! Later, her husband discreetly informed me that they're in an open relationship. I just wish I didn't have my boring unadventurous wife at home. FML
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    Slice of life

    Anonymous - 07/09/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Creil

    Today, my son was crying because he wanted to listen to a song that he and Daddy listen to. My husband is at work and I can't reach him. I've looked and looked for the song but I can't find it. My husband has such wack taste in music I don't know where to look, and my son is too upset to help. FML
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    We can be friends

    Anonymous - 09/09/2025 00:00

    Today, I was told that it's "weird" for a single guy to go to events by himself and that I should go places with my friends if I "didn't want to look creepy." It was a speed-friending event. I don't have any friends. FML
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    Classic

    Diane - 12/09/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

    Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I have a permanent illness. Whenever I'm too unwell to manage the housework or children, my hubby does even less than usual. As soon as I'm well enough, I have a mountain of work to do, which makes me sick again. FML
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    Today, what should have been a perfect spring picnic, turned into a living nightmare. A salad from Subway was filled with hair. It was in a to go bag and I didn’t feel like going all the way back to the Subway. FML
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    Today, I can't sleep. I don't know what's crazier, the fact that I have been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling for about 5 hours, or that I have been asking my cat for advice. FML
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    Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years-old. FML
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    Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML
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    Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized Build-a-Bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear, "We should break up" instead. FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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