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What up EWU Crew?

By mario - 30/12/2025 09:00

Today, the cops were called on our apartment because they heard angry yelling and loud screams. I was having a Mario Kart party with some friends over and we got too into the game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 193

Work is a four-letter word

By Anonymous - 02/01/2026 22:00

Today, I am so paranoid from being bullied at work, I need time off. But because of the bullying, I am too paranoid to take leave. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 149

Third wheel

By sammy - 11/01/2026 20:00

Today, and since 2026 started, my two friends began liking each other and I'm very happy for them. The problem? They get so close (literally and figuratively) that they do things that make me feel left out (both subjectively and objectively). Everyone says it's normal, but when I was in love I never did that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 266

Lost in time

By Anonymous - 13/01/2026 15:00

Today, I told a coworker, “Enjoy your weekend!” out of pure muscle memory. It was Monday morning. They stared at me for a full second before quietly saying, “I will... in five days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 263

Impulse purchase

By Gary - 17/01/2026 03:00

Today, I wanted a Stranger Things flashlight, but I saw they were out of stock at Target so I ordered one on Mercari. The Target website later got more in, so I paid double the original price with shipping included. I’m done online shopping for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 445

False alarm

By Bad nurse - 18/01/2026 22:00

Today, I spent ten minutes comforting a patient’s family member, reassuring them everything was under control. When I went to leave, I realized I’d been leaning on the call button the entire time. Three other nurses ran in ready for an emergency while I was mid-sentence about coping strategies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 305

He sounds lovely

By I'll show you complaining - 22/01/2026 12:00

Today, I was complaining about the weather when my fiancé looked at me and said, "Can I ask a favor? Can you stop moaning and complaining and bitching about every single little thing that doesn't go your way?" He continued on for a good five minutes detailing how much I complain. He's a dead man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1 006

Hashtag health goals

By Not that old!! - 26/01/2026 00:00

Today, I’m a retiree who recently joined a gym for the first time. The trainer asked me what my goals were. I said, honestly, “To not fall over.” He nodded and wrote it down. Later I saw my workout plan titled: ANTI-FALL PROTOCOL. Other gym members now ask me how my falling is going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 13

Do not attempt this at home

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Monterey

Today, I attempted to show off my juggling skills at a family gathering using oranges. One slipped out of my hand, hit a shelf, and knocked over a picture of my parents. The glass frame shattered, and now my family thinks I have a vendetta against their marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 209

Help!

By This is gonna suck - 02/02/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my workplace is having a karaoke night. Most of our regulars are horrible singers, so this doesn't bode well for me, a person with rather sensitive ears. I'd like to bring my headphones along, but they broke yesterday. Please send help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 320

Can't handle my drinks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2025 07:00 - Philippines - San Jose del Monte

Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 756

Hell no!

By AnnoyedAF - 09/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my mother has been making videos every time she babysits my kids (who are 2 and 6 years-old) and uploading them to YouTube. She's retired, but out of boredom and need for attention, she seems to have tried making a family vlog channel, but with MY kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 105

Read the room

By Sarah - 11/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 629

Practicality

By Nicole C - 25/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years left me for another girl he’s known for 3 months, just because she’s closer. Never mind that I was the one who remained faithful to him for 2 long years, got him through the deaths of his parents, gave him money when he fell on hard times, among other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 151

Perfect performance

By I hate myself - 02/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I walked into a café for the first time, and as I opened the door, I slammed it into the face of a poor barista. Embarrassed, I tried to apologize while holding the door open for a woman behind me, only to have my hand slip and the door crash into her as well. I then stood there, frozen, as both of them just stared at me as I apologized with, "I swear I'm not a moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 110

Unionize!

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 19:00

Today, I found out my wife has been sleeping with one of my employees. Now, I can divorce her no problem, but turns out I can’t fire him for personal reasons because he’s in the union. That means I have to work every day with a man who has been inside the woman I shared marriage vows with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 121

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was invited to a friend's wedding. When I got there, I was surprised to see that it was a surprise wedding, meaning I wasn’t invited at all. I stood there awkwardly for an hour, until the bride's mother finally noticed me and whispered, "You're not on the guest list, are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 108

Imposter syndrome?

By Overworked - 15/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, after my boss thanked me for being so "reliable" all the time, I confessed to her that I have really bad anxiety, which has given me a crippling fear of disappointing her and ending up jobless. Even after reassuring me that she would never do that, the feeling is still there. I think I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 147

Hazy day

By Laurence - 18/03/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my alarm went off, and in my half-asleep state, I grabbed my phone and snoozed it. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd actually snoozed my work email notification for the same amount of time, and my boss was emailing me every five minutes, asking where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 424

Hooman! Do something!

By Anonymous - 22/03/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was in the bathroom trying to unclog my constipated ass when my cat pushed the door open and walked in. She sat and stared at me for a good 10 minutes. Then, as if she had seen enough, she started loudly meowing for no reason. It was like she was judging me for reading a book she didn't approve of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 136

Sunscreen season is open

By Anna - 26/03/2025 00:00 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 553

Felt cute, did delete later

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I posted a picture of myself in a new outfit on Instagram. A few minutes later, my mom commented, “You look gorgeous, but why does your shirt look like it’s from the 90s?” I was too embarrassed to respond, so I just deleted the post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 180

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 11:00 - Canada - Eastern Passage

Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 115

The golden cousin

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I went to a family reunion and made the mistake of wearing the same shirt as my cousin, who is known for always wanting to be the center of attention. She took one look at me, pointed, and said, “Oh, I see you’re copying me now, huh?” Then, my aunt overheard and said, “Well, she is your cousin, so it’s not like it’s a crime.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 65

Performance art

By Christine - 09/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was in a video call with my boss when my Wi-Fi decided to take a vacation. I thought I could salvage the situation by using my iPhone’s hotspot. But then my phone ran out of data mid-sentence, and my boss got a glimpse of me cursing at my phone while frantically waving it in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 115

You really shouldn't have!

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 11:00 - United States - Rancho Santa Margarita

Today, for my birthday this year, my girlfriend gave me Herpes (type 2) and this morning she decided to wake me up to tell me she wants to see other people. But she "still loves me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 84

Do something, anything

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was assigned to work on a group project with some coworkers. The entire time, one guy insisted on "taking charge" and assigning everyone tasks. He gave me a single task: “Create a 15-slide presentation.” I completed it in less than an hour. He then decided we needed a 100-slide presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 78

Accelerated obsolescence

By Anonymous - 17/04/2025 16:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my cellphone charger suddenly stopped working. I had it for less than 6 months and I don't do anything crazier than unplug the phone when I want to go out and plug it back in. The phone and outlet work perfectly, the inputs are clean, and the charger had excellent ratings from over 2,000 people on Amazon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 116

Rise and shine (again)

By Tired - 21/04/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, my anxiety-ridden body decided that a good time to have a random panic attack for no reason at all would be when I was trying to go to sleep. Guess I'll stay awake, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 87

False advertising

By Anonymous - 25/04/2025 03:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, after I bought what were labeled as “8 Pink Tulips” and planting the bulbs, they turned out to be 6 whites and 2 reds. Well, I guess if you’re talking mathematical average, that counts as pink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 83

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The Top

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 190

You deserved it 5 665

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 177

You deserved it 6 710

Today, my mom threatened to kick me out for asking if I could skip church for the next few weeks, because, you know, I have Covid and have been told to isolate for ten days, which obviously includes two Sundays. The woman would rather I infect her congregation than let me stay in bed while sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 148

Today, I got pulled over for talking on my phone while driving. I'd lost my phone the day before. He didn’t believe me. So, I got a ticket for talking on a phone I can’t even find. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 169

You deserved it 154

Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 652

You deserved it 5 246

Today, a 300 lb woman caused a huge scene at the public pool where I work. She accused me of fatshaming and swore to sue me for discrimination. I asked her to cover up, as her 3x too small string bikini went against the pool’s dress code. I don’t make the rules, I just have to enforce them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 122