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    : 320



    This is fine

    Anonymous - 21/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was dealing with my nightmares quite efficiently by drinking right before I go to sleep, presto, no nightmares and no problems when I woke up. My girlfriend decided to make a whole issue of it by telling my parents, who planned an intervention and want me to waste time seeing a therapist. FML
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    On the move

    Nathalieeeee - 23/07/2025 15:00 - Canada

    Today, my smartwatch notified me mid-meeting, saying “You’ve been inactive for an hour, get moving!” I stood up instinctively to “stretch,” only to trip over my chair and send my water bottle flying across the boardroom table. FML
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    Nostalgia for a time that never existed

    Anonymous - 26/07/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I woke up on my day off as a family man. Yesterday I played an AI game where I went back to my college days in the 2000s. I recreated those days as they were, and it brought back many memories. The problem? The game let me create the perfect girlfriend. I regret dating my now ex-wife back then more than ever. FML
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    Leave a workaround in the comments!

    Anonymous - 28/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

    Today, I am sat in a house with a husband and three teenage boys who are all grumpy and pretending it’s not because the government just stopped them from watching porn without showing their ID first. FML
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    Is everything OK?

    Hellie - 30/07/2025 15:00 - Canada

    Today, I woke up to strange texts from friends asking if I was OK, and asking what happened last night. Apparently, I texted my close friends contact list a rambling love letter to pizza before going to bed. I'm never taking Ambien BEFORE getting into bed again. FML
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    Woowoo alert!

    Anonymous - 01/08/2025 09:00 - France - Nantes

    Today, as a student in a science preparatory class and a geology enthusiast, I walked into a rare stone shop. A saleswoman was praising the healing properties of a piece of malachite to a customer. Curious, I looked over my shoulder and exclaimed, "Oh! Raw copper ore!" I got banned from the shop. Occupational hazard. FML
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    Trigger happy

    Helen - 03/08/2025 03:00 - Netherlands - Creil

    Today, my boyfriend saw a notification on my phone saying "Men's Singles". He lost his shit and dumped me. It was a tennis match. FML
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    He's still a very good boy

    PaulineIsHere - 04/08/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, I spent all day baking dog-safe cookies for my pup's birthday. He sniffed them, turned around, and started begging for one of MY processed garbage cookies from a store instead. FML
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    Social media etiquette

    Anonymous - 08/08/2025 12:00 - United States

    Today, I tried to secretly screenshot my gym crush’s Instagram story. I sent them a heart reaction instead. Then I panicked and tried to unsend it. I then accidentally did it again. They messaged me, “You good?” No. No, I am not. FML
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    Unacceptable!

    DLBL - 11/08/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, I walked around town doing errands. When I got home, I realized my short socks were two different shades of white. FML
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    Human interface

    Anonymous - 24/08/2025 12:00 - United States

    Today, at a supermarket self-checkout, I loudly complained to the machine, “Why won’t you scan, you useless idiot?” An employee walked up behind me and said, “You need to press ‘Start.’” FML
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    Just be yourself

    iQuit - 27/08/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, I decided to quit dating. I'm a plus-sized girl and I can’t get a guy to save my life. On dating apps they run for the hills when they see my full body. I even tried dating plus-size guys and even they have standards. I fucking hate society’s “ideal” beauty norms. FML
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    Wild child

    Anonymous - 29/08/2025 14:00 - United States - Newport News

    Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML
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    Wiped out

    myassisburnins - 31/08/2025 18:30 - India - Indore

    Today, for the first time in ages, I had to go twice. At noon, after finishing my shit I reached for the jet spray, only to find out that the water was out until morning due to motor maintenance. I ended up using a newspaper. Only review: you guys in America & Europe really have it hard. FML
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    The passenger

    Green_Artist_6409 - 02/09/2025 09:00 - India

    Today, I travelled to the beach, and I got what I thought was a food crumb in my phone charger port. I poked it around and it was so gross to realize that it was an insect. I removed the bug with a tissue corner, used an old brush to clean the rest up. I panicked and thought it was a bug infestation in my hostel room. FML
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    I started a joke…

    Shabby Rabbit - 03/09/2025 18:00 - United States - Mesa

    Today, two of my friends, who are both well off, offered to buy me new clothes. I thought they were just being generous like they normally are. I also thought my clothes weren't too bad, so I asked my girl if I looked ratty. She just started laughing at me. Apparently they're really bad and it's a running joke for everyone. FML
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    SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!

    Anonymous - 05/09/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

    Today, I got on a train and spotted a free seat. I rushed over, sat down and sighed with relief, only to realize people were looking at me. That’s when I saw the “Reserved for the elderly or disabled” sign…and the man with a cane standing in front of me. I immediately offered him the seat, but he just shook his head and said, “You’re gonna need it after this shaming.” FML
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    Whatnot etc.

    Fucked - 07/09/2025 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

    Today, I started my new shift schedule. They run on the policy: "Early is on time, on time is late." My shift starts at 6 in the morning. It's now 11pm and my wife called me a selfish bastard for asking her to get off Whatnot so I can sleep. FML
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    Yummy

    Tuna ice cream - 09/09/2025 03:00

    Today, after a week of working 18-hour days, I finally sat down to eat more than a sandwich. Unfortunately my kitchen has become a mess and I bypassed the clean bowl I'd put on the counter and ate my ice cream out of the cat's dirty food bowl. FML
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    EXPLAIN YOURSELF

    Anonymous - 11/09/2025 03:00

    Today, I was summoned by the big boss and I was bricking myself waiting in his waiting room, wondering what job he wanted me to do, or if I’m getting fired. Turns out he heard I watch a lot of anime and wanted me to teach him about it so he can talk to his teenage daughter about her interests. FML
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    Warehouse blues

    Anonymous - 12/09/2025 22:00

    Today, I got up early to wait for my new sofa to be delivered. I spent yesterday taking apart and getting rid of my old crappy sofa. At midday, the furniture shop said they'd cancelled my order due to not having enough of that model in stock. Even if I re-order a sofa now, it's 2 weeks until they can deliver. FML
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    Ozempic pushers

    Anonymous - 16/09/2025 09:00

    Today, my parents came for a visit and spent the whole time pressuring me to ask my doctor for medication to lose weight. FML
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    Look at me

    - 20/09/2025 00:00

    Today, I realized that my gay male friend tells me I’m pretty, gives me random compliments, and shows me off more often than my husband of 10 years. I legitimately can’t remember the last time my husband called me beautiful. Even if I ask him how I look, the best I’ll get is “You look fine.” FML
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    The first step is acknowledging it

    Alex - 23/09/2025 15:00

    Today, I fucked up. I let my mental health problems and the alcohol win. I was horrible to my wife and basically ended my marriage due to my problems and insecurities. FML
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    Kid A

    Anonymous - 25/09/2025 09:00

    Today, me and my husband are having our first big marital argument. Our baby still doesn’t have a name, all because I want to call her a normal name and he wants to call her some obscure name from an anime he really likes. I’ve never seen him this stubborn about anything this stupid. FML
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    Bad day, huh?

    AllWrong - 27/09/2025 03:00

    Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML
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    Overbearing

    Anonymous - 28/09/2025 22:00

    Today, my mom got in my house while I was on vacation and “cleaned it” AKA moved everything around. Now every time I ask her, “Mom, where's my unpaid bill?” or “Mom, where’s my blue suit?” or “Mom, where’s my work ID?” all I get from her is, “Oh it must be somewhere; where did you see it last?” AAAAAAAARGH FML
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    STOP!

    What's that beeping noise?? - 02/10/2025 12:00

    Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
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    Involontary caregiver

    Caretaker - 06/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I got word that my aunt has dementia and will be moving into our big family estate. And just like with my grandpa, grandma, great-aunt, great-uncle, other grandma, father, and uncle, I will be expected to put my life on hold and be her primary caretaker. I never got my own life. FML
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    Here we go again

    Change my number - 07/10/2025 20:00

    Today, I discovered that my direct work number is Googleable to the public. This was brought to my attention when my extremely toxic ex called me wanting to rekindle our dead relationship. I just have to ignore the ankle monitor, continued addiction issues, and police charges. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
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    Today, I went back to my doctor because I had an ear infection in my left ear. Not only do I now have an infection in my right ear as well, I also I have a yeast infection from the antibiotics. FML
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    Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
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    Today, I've been so anxious that I downloaded a crossword app to try to focus. You get stars whenever you complete a puzzle, either 1, 2, or 3. I'm now up to 400 stars and placed first in a competition I didn't even know I was participating in. I'm still anxious. FML
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    Today, I finally met my girlfriend's family. When it was time for dinner, I was sent upstairs to get her brother. When I walked in, he was laid out on his bed getting a rimjob from his cousin. FML
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    Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
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