Intimacy: Training - FML

Training

By Anonymous - 10/04/2011 05:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 472

You deserved it 72 672

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Same thing different taste

By Michelle - 17/10/2013 11:51 - Australia - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 772

You deserved it 5 625

By Myboyfriendisaromanticslob - 10/03/2011 05:09 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 442

You deserved it 6 475

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 15:32 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 752

You deserved it 4 621

This Charming Man

By Anonymous - 21/04/2021 14:00

Today, I explained to my man child of a boyfriend that we don't reuse dirty dishes. We have to wash them. He doesn't think it's gross and yelled at me, throwing the pan in the sink. Oh, he also refuses to wash dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 538

By Anonymous - 19/03/2010 10:05 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 912

You deserved it 22 210

By kj1 - 17/02/2014 18:28 - United States - Draper

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 313

You deserved it 6 719

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 021

You deserved it 14 604

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 212

You deserved it 7 397

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 974

You deserved it 13 385

Deal or no Deal

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 02:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 2 132

Next

Top comments

nebula748 14

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:11

What did you expect?

docscientist 9

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:18

I guess you should have him eat out more.

Comments

MrFlintstone 5

Monday 11 April 2011 5:43

I'll do it the 4th time.......... for a price;)

Pheepqhee 0

Monday 11 April 2011 5:43

YOU ****..

dansco 24

Monday 11 April 2011 5:47

Maybe start doing the dishes yourself, you lazy sod or open wide and swallow ;)

d3ll001 0

Monday 11 April 2011 5:47

yeah, 2 for him, and 1for me, still waiting..... ;)

jerd02 0

Monday 11 April 2011 5:53

Haha! lucky guy.

dansco 24

Monday 11 April 2011 6:06

Maybe start washing the dishes or shut up and swallow!!!

Frostillicus123 10

Monday 11 April 2011 6:08

This is operant conditioning, in a day change the rules to dirty dishes adding in side note dishes are to not be dirtied unneeded. Than change it to once a day.

Dez31396 0

Monday 11 April 2011 6:08

so 3 then? well pay up!

guywithhead 5

Monday 11 April 2011 6:15

whenever sex of any kind is offered as a reward, stuff will always get done. next, you should ask him to buy you a car! lol

linsay_grace 0

Monday 11 April 2011 6:16

Of course he would do the dishes to get head. What guy wouldnt??

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The Top

The Top

Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 233

You deserved it 8 425

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 522

You deserved it 7 000

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 205

You deserved it 8 859

Today, my 25-year-old daughter, who normally doesn't drive, was out using the family car when she came back annoyed and emotional over the "stupid" cars heating being broken. She said no matter how high she turned it up it was still blowing cold air. I checked and it was set to A/C the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 409

You deserved it 960

Today, I was talking to my boss about her children. She told me she didn’t want them to develop any problems by letting them sleep with the light on. I didn’t tell her last night I slept with the light on because I’m scared of ghosts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 343

You deserved it 44 868

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 315

You deserved it 3 803