Health, Dogs and Animals: Run for your life - FML

Run for your life

By I Don't Exorcise - 10/05/2012 03:34 - United States - Shawnee

Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 246

You deserved it 3 053

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By chi-huaHUA - 04/12/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 177

You deserved it 6 765

Bad boy

By Dammit - 31/05/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 115

By Radgirl - 28/04/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 369

You deserved it 58 532

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 466

You deserved it 2 488

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 299

You deserved it 9 712

Jog on

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 735

You deserved it 2 978

Woof woof

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 00:02

Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 233

Doggy dog world

By Maude - 20/11/2020 05:03 - Canada - Beauharnois

Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 258

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 21:53 - United States

Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 853

You deserved it 5 958

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 22:01 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 162

Next

Top comments

Dalliance 4

Thursday 10 May 2012 9:20

I assume you made it.

WeezyBites 6

Thursday 10 May 2012 9:22

Pretty good way to stay in shape

Comments

gamingonsity 8

Monday 14 December 2015 8:36

well at least you were motivated to loose weight

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I was going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He couldn't get hard and pouted about it for nearly two hours. When I went to comfort him, he said, "Man, I hope I'm not gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 467

You deserved it 2 473

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 846

You deserved it 2 626

Today, I got a new cat. He's outrageously clingy. Like, "extremely unhealthy obsession with me" clingy. I just wanted an emotional support animal, but it looks like I have become an emotional support animal instead. I feel terrible for trying to get him to not want to be with me all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 480

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 350

You deserved it 7 541

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 155

You deserved it 60 867

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 579

You deserved it 4 571