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By annie_xox - 20/02/2015 14:39 - United Kingdom - Neath

Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 202

You deserved it 3 987

annie_xox tells us more.

annie_xox 1

Saturday 21 February 2015 0:11

Hi, OP here! Believe me now, I gave him the dirtiest look and ended things there and then. He can have his "gorgeous" ex if he wants her so badly, just don't come crawling back to me, you dick!

By she knows - 08/10/2013 16:30 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 226

You deserved it 3 308

By not even a sexy bushfire - 25/10/2012 16:27 - Australia - Kelmscott

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 813

You deserved it 2 493

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 16:30 - United States

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 460

You deserved it 2 653

Like a house on fire

By PerturbedStudent - 09/12/2015 23:42 - United States - Keller

Today, I finally received my first love letter. Too bad it was from the boy who lit me on fire two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 666

You deserved it 1 661

By Anonymous - 15/07/2013 04:23 - United States - Clarks Summit

Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 005

You deserved it 3 222

By cherbear1000 - 17/06/2013 04:33 - United States - Nottingham

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 843

You deserved it 5 735

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 974

You deserved it 11 834

By offended - 14/06/2012 08:11 - United States - East Hampton

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 560

You deserved it 2 450

By Carlee_Casten - 17/06/2014 20:51 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 640

You deserved it 7 878

Carlee_Casten tells us more.

Carlee_Casten 1

Wednesday 18 June 2014 21:14

OP Here! I just wanted to say thank you for the really nice comments :) Just to clarify I am not a person who thinks sex is something that should be bragged or boasted about. I was trying to make an insult less hurtful. They caught me on a good day. Otherwise I wouldn't have taken it so well. But thanks again for the comments and for those that helped my FML get posted :)

By mark807 - 28/04/2012 06:52 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 522

You deserved it 2 171

By getting real crafty.. - 05/07/2015 15:51 - United States - Sanford

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 134

You deserved it 2 023

By seriously - 05/03/2013 00:43 - United States - Goshen

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 104

You deserved it 18 524

By Sapphirlinda - 03/07/2010 23:25 - Netherlands

Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 829

You deserved it 3 275

By Jlipka - 22/05/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 869

You deserved it 5 610

By MzZombicidal - 17/12/2013 17:28 - United States - Radcliff

Today, I found a job after two years of searching. I excitedly called my best friend to tell her the good news. She decided break her own news about how she quit yet another good paying job and found an even better one within hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 984

You deserved it 4 132

MzZombicidal tells us more.

MzZombicidal 36

Wednesday 18 December 2013 0:38

This actually happened a couple months ago, but I'm currently very happy with my new job (I work as a sales associate for my local grocery store, if you're wondering). I WAS very happy for my friend but I couldn't help but to be irritated at her luck of continuously quitting and finding jobs with ease (She works with elderly people). I had been near the breaking point when I finally got the job. My best friend, however, has continuously quit jobs and gotten new ones in no time. We obviously work in different fields and, even though I seemed jealous, I was very happy to hear she was able to land on her feet after quitting her job. We joke about it now and she apologized if she seemed rude and all is fine. :) I love the people I work with and am getting good pay. Win win! We're both happy with our current positions and things couldn't be better!

Not now!

By Ineedit - 26/02/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 159

You deserved it 2 583

Run for the hills

By Stung - 03/08/2009 21:57 - United States

Today, I found out that bees like to make hives in odd places, like in your vintage car's trunk. I also found out that they don't like it when you break their hive in half when you open the trunk to get out a spare tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 183

You deserved it 4 267

Never again

By notAMrs - 20/11/2012 17:22 - United States - Jeffersonville

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 098

You deserved it 9 223

Thanks for noticing

By Anonymous - 25/07/2009 02:35 - Brazil

Today, my long-distance boyfriend was at my house for a 10-day visit. He told me that we'd never spent so much time together, so he didn't know me well and now, he'd finally met the "real me". He doesn't like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 840

You deserved it 9 643

By joedoe - 18/07/2009 06:03 - United States

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 Monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 931

You deserved it 51 606

Get in, kid

By -__- - 28/10/2011 11:50 - Australia

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 222

You deserved it 2 598

By kacie smith - 16/09/2012 12:36 - United States - Youngsville

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. Five minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 728

You deserved it 3 740

He's not my real dad

By Moosh - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it, then showed it to all my friends at my party, all while we were eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 575

You deserved it 4 195

By anonymous - 25/07/2013 01:31 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 313

You deserved it 8 140

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 13:04 - United States

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds, then said, "Who the hell are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 055

You deserved it 4 908

By thenewgirl - 06/10/2014 23:05 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 111

You deserved it 3 896

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 130

You deserved it 4 992

City kids

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 08:00 - United States - North Pole

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 313

You deserved it 25 371

By Kazenoe - 05/07/2012 11:52 - Finland - Nokia

Today, while taking the trash out, the old cranky elevator in my apartment complex finally gave up on life. For a long hour I was stuck between floors 4 and 5, practically embracing my bio-waste can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 022

You deserved it 1 913

Kazenoe tells us more.

Kazenoe 24

Thursday 5 July 2012 19:34

OP here. Thanks all for the comments, almost making me able to laugh about this now. :P But yes, the waste can was full. I had to take a long shower after. I do have a feeling I'll prefer the stairs for a while after this.