Today, while performing oral sex on my wife, I mentioned her...

Content almost refused by staff

By JFred - 26/07/2018 02:37 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, while performing oral sex on my wife, I mentioned her clitoris were "hard to find." She replied, "That's rude. I never told you how small your penis was." She usually refuses to talk at all during sex. Why not this time? Ouch. FML

agreeclassic 54

vote type 1 57

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

TOP COMMENTS

user53658 15

Monday 30 July 2018 9:18

Probably due to a big bush.

clair_brodie 35

Monday 30 July 2018 0:42

You literally have to go past it to get inside. How did you miss it?

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 28 July 2018 20:05

Come on, man. If an 8-year-old kid from a Coloradoan mountain town can find the ********, you can, as well.

clair_brodie 35

Monday 30 July 2018 0:42

You literally have to go past it to get inside. How did you miss it?

user53658 15

Monday 30 July 2018 9:18

Probably due to a big bush.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, after trying for several days to change some details on the social security website, I got fed up and called them. I waited nearly two hours on hold, and when I finally got through, the guy on the other end just told me to reboot my computer and try again, then hung up on me. FML

agreeclassic 47 176

vote type 1 4 381

Today, I'm on vacation and stupidly bought the cheapest sunblock I could find. Instead of protecting my skin, the sunblock acted as a damn lightning rod for the sun, and I now look like I just spent a few hours on a spit-roast. FML

agreeclassic 16 547

vote type 1 8 704

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

agreeclassic 47 537

vote type 1 5 238

Today, I have to choose between paying the mortgage or paying my brother the hush money for him knowing about the affair I had with his friend. He made it clear that if I miss a single payment, he'll tell my wife everything. FML

agreeclassic 150

vote type 1 3 103

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

agreeclassic 29 923

vote type 1 4 560

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

agreeclassic 43 001

vote type 1 34 880