Work: Today, I called in sick at work and went to the bar, only to...

You're hardly the first person to do this. And it happens the same way every time: The supervisor/manager happens to be there when you go there. You totally deserve it.

onceuponatime456 16

Sunday 18 March 2018 18:53

Were you born stupid or did it take a lot of work to get that way?

onceuponatime456 16

Sunday 18 March 2018 18:53

Were you born st*pid or did it take a lot of work to get that way?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I witnessed the most awful park job ever. Without thinking, I found a piece of paper and wrote on the back, "Nice park, asshole". Turns out it was an old airline boarding pass, and my name, address and phone number were neatly displayed with the message. FML

agreeclassic 12 371

vote type 1 38 791

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

agreeclassic 39 530

vote type 1 3 309

Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML

agreeclassic 19 375

vote type 1 40 365

Today, I went to an Honors Convocation for my school. I received a letter a few weeks earlier telling me I received an award. Surprised and proud, I invited my family to join me to see what award I was receiving. I couldn't find my name in the program. I was invited by mistake. FML

agreeclassic 55 737

vote type 1 2 950

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

agreeclassic 35 345

vote type 1 3 147

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

agreeclassic 36 837

vote type 1 7 668