Today, my sister thought it’d be a good idea to wake me up by... - FML

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By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 23:39

Today, my sister thought it’d be a good idea to wake me up by punching me in the balls. Not only that, I realised I’d pissed myself too when she said she put my feet in water which apparently makes you piss yourself. Not a great start to the day. Fml

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vote type 1 8

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SeanyB 9

Saturday 23 November 2019 18:12

Yep I think my chances of having kids well and truly decreased

JasonThorn 20

Friday 22 November 2019 1:44

"TODAY I BECOME AN ONLY CHILD..."

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JasonThorn 20

Friday 22 November 2019 1:44

"TODAY I BECOME AN ONLY CHILD..."

SeanyB 9

Saturday 23 November 2019 18:12

Yep I think my chances of having kids well and truly decreased

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Today, in order to save money, instead of going to the car wash, I decided to wash my car at home. While sponging the roof, I slipped on the soapy driveway and ended up sliding under the car, getting soaked and covered in suds. My neighbor saw the whole thing and couldn't stop laughing. FML

agreeclassic 379

vote type 1 156

Today, after spending at least two hours on the phone every day for the past week, my health insurer I pay a huge monthly premium to agreed to cover my life-sustaining insulin. But they won't contribute to the cost until after I've paid an unaffordable deductible first. I'm going to die even though I'm insured. FML

agreeclassic 578

vote type 1 96

Today, a customer complimented me on how good I looked for my age. She thought I was in my forties. I'm 18. FML

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vote type 1 4 131

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agreeclassic 22 521

vote type 1 4 800

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 738 927

vote type 1 496 029

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

agreeclassic 38 656

vote type 1 5 022