Today, my mum had some friends over for lunch. Bored wandering... - FML

Content almost refused by staff

By Jumpman jumpman - 20/07/2018 13:56 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my mum had some friends over for lunch. Bored wandering around the house and not wanting to disturb them, I followed my sister to the toilet to scare her as she came out. When the door opened I jumped towards her and screamed loudly. She screamed loudly too. My mother’s friend, that is. FML

agreeclassic 30

vote type 1 74

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

TOP COMMENTS

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 22 July 2018 11:22

Did you mistake one for the other, or did you get lost en route to the bathroom, and just assumed it was your sister in there?

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 22 July 2018 11:22

Did you mistake one for the other, or did you get lost en route to the bathroom, and just assumed it was your sister in there?

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

agreeclassic 57 148

vote type 1 13 080

Today, I once again have to attend a family gathering and never hear the end of, “Julie, you’re 33 and you still haven’t found a man?” What they don’t understand is that every time I pour my heart out to a guy, I always get the ladder kicked out from under me. As a result, I can’t get close to anyone anymore. FML

agreeclassic 480

vote type 1 131

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

agreeclassic 12 401

vote type 1 59 619

Today, my sister-in-law went into premature labour, and we were asked to keep it quiet. My mother immediately called all her friends and relayed the whole situation in intimate detail. Yet she wonders why they don't spend time with her, and nobody tells her anything. FML

agreeclassic 1 171

vote type 1 130

Today, after my girlfriend warned me she has the condition hypersexuality and like a fool I thought I’d landed on my feet, or on my back as it were, do you have any idea how bad sex is when you have it between 5 and 10 times a day for over a year? It’s basically a chore at this point. FML

agreeclassic 2 026

vote type 1 734

Today, I was both sexting with my girlfriend and texting my professor about an upcoming essay. I accidentally sent a dickpic to my professor. FML

agreeclassic 13 392

vote type 1 40 127