Animals: Today, I was playing with my dog, and he put his claw into my...

the same thing happened to me but my friend an I were play fighting and he was the one who scratched my cornia. I had to wear an eye patch for a month or two

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Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me in front of his whole family with the ring his mother had helped him pick out. Two hours later, I found emails of nudes from another women that had been sent to him a week prior, on his phone. Our flight for home leaves in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 951

You deserved it 1 658

Today, I was using a wooden toothpick to try to get at some food that was firmly lodged between my teeth. The toothpick broke and now I also have a splinter of wood jammed in there too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 537

You deserved it 3 099

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 064

You deserved it 3 912

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 990

You deserved it 4 910

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 865

You deserved it 15 027

Today, the most excitement in my week has been getting my new electric toothbrush in the post. I honestly can’t wait for it to charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 213