Miscellaneous: Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an...

By anonymous22kittylicklick - 20/08/2011 04:44 - United States

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

agreeclassic 33 503

vote type 1 2 852

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Hey lady! Chill!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

agreeclassic 41 404

vote type 1 3 045

Lawyer up

By gnofin - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML

agreeclassic 20 940

vote type 1 3 180

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

agreeclassic 27 017

vote type 1 1 808

By anonymous - 01/02/2016 06:07 - Canada

Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML

agreeclassic 21 074

vote type 1 1 464

By roadkill - 28/02/2011 15:50 - United States

Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML

agreeclassic 34 306

vote type 1 2 831

By ihatemyjob - 12/09/2010 07:23 - Canada

Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML

agreeclassic 32 178

vote type 1 2 781

People of Walmart

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 14:34 - United States

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML

agreeclassic 45 003

vote type 1 2 713

No touching!

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

agreeclassic 8 019

vote type 1 23 369

Parent #1 of the Year

By no i'm sure you're a responsible parent - 09/04/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML

agreeclassic 1 677

vote type 1 214

By Greg - 28/10/2013 21:53 - United States - Livonia

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

agreeclassic 49 242

vote type 1 3 286

ciarafox9 9

Saturday 20 August 2011 12:25

Chap stick is a big responsiblity ok? Think of the consequences!

mea_iloveskiing 26

Saturday 20 August 2011 12:22

Better too young than too old :)

Comments

lawrenceps 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 16:01

Assault

ParanoidLoko 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 16:20

I hope I die before I get old :D

ThatsSOBforshort 2

Saturday 20 August 2011 16:26

Was there a condom display next to it by any chance?

ifeelya 5

Saturday 20 August 2011 16:56

bahahahahahaha!

MichellinMan 20

Saturday 20 August 2011 17:16

The only people who wanna see you half naked are gays and perv ladies. Knock it off

miz66independent 1

Saturday 20 August 2011 17:23

Agreed. But his face?

ItsApril 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 17:38

I would have took the umbrella from her and told her to "shut the **** up, you crazy old bitch!" Screw the fact that she's old. If she can't control herself she shouldn't be out in public.