By Soulpain - 24/10/2017 08:12 Today I met my soulmate, and his boyfriend. FML agreeclassic 41 vote type 1 21 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML agreeclassic 21 589 vote type 1 95 238
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML agreeclassic 8 349 vote type 1 29 722
Today, I shoveled the driveway because there's enough snow to block my car. Overnight we're supposed to get six more inches of snow. It's like shoveling the driveway is a waste of time because more snow gets piled on it the next day. FML agreeclassic 329 vote type 1 148
Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML agreeclassic 49 344 vote type 1 18 176
Today, I was beaten up by a complete stranger for “giving her a dirty look.” I can’t see my own face. FML agreeclassic 889 vote type 1 111
Today, pearlescent liquid soap squirted all over my white pants while washing my hands. I have 6 more hours of work looking like I jizzed myself. FML agreeclassic 385 vote type 1 120
Pretty obviously not your soulmate then, or at least not your romantic soulmate.