Today, I joined this high school regional orchestra. Day One,... - FML

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By Anonymous - 20/01/2020 13:15

Today, I joined this high school regional orchestra. Day One, first chair trumpet players covered my seat in slide oil, I sat in it, had no idea and anytime I stood up everyone behind burst out laughing because it looked like I peed myself. Worst of all, this stuff didn't come out of my khakis all practice. FML

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power_in_the_now 19

Wednesday 22 January 2020 23:28

That needs to be taken to the school counselor and resource officer... this is unacceptable bullying

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power_in_the_now 19

Wednesday 22 January 2020 23:28

That needs to be taken to the school counselor and resource officer... this is unacceptable bullying

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Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML

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Today, I'm again stuck with my colleague for another monologue off all her divorces, narcissistic mom, drunk father, sex-obsessed husband, autistic children, and her aggressive dog she had to put to sleep. I feel like I give her a 7-hour free therapy sessions, sucking all the life out of me instead of doing my real job. FML

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vote type 1 139

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Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

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Today, I realized my habit of asking people for money came to an all time high when I asked a girl to Cash App me $5 through Instagram. She literally sent me A PENNY, said, “Quit fucking asking me for money fam” and then blocked me. FML

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