Intimacy: Today, I hooked up with a girl I like, but as we walked through... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By seriously, mum, GTFO, PLEASE - 16/05/2016 20:50 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I hooked up with a girl I like, but as we walked through my door tearing at each other's clothes, my mother appeared behind us, having dropped by for a visit. I had to introduce the poor girl to my mother who wouldn't take the fucking hint to leave us alone and stayed for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 8

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

GhostFox 33

Wednesday 18 May 2016 13:51

She probably knew what you two were trying to get up to, and picked on the hints to leave. Chances are she just didn't give a **** and didn't want you having sex. Because heavens forbid that two people of legal consenting age have sex. Unless one or both of you were under the influence of alcohol or other drugs, in which case she did you a favor.

Comments

GhostFox 33

Wednesday 18 May 2016 13:51

She probably knew what you two were trying to get up to, and picked on the hints to leave. Chances are she just didn't give a **** and didn't want you having sex. Because heavens forbid that two people of legal consenting age have sex. Unless one or both of you were under the influence of alcohol or other drugs, in which case she did you a favor.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Frustration Intimacy NSFW Sex Growing old Fire Love Awkward Customers Kids Annoying Work Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers Parenting Health Ecology Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Animals Cats Neighbours Technology Geek Weird

The Top

The Top

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 795

You deserved it 2 553

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because I'm too "high maintenance" during the holidays. Not to worry, though; he's willing give me another chance sometime after Valentine's day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 043

You deserved it 6 308

Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 399

You deserved it 6 582

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 762

You deserved it 7 137

Today, after bronchitis and a negative COVID test, I finally went back into my classroom for the last day before break. An hour after I got home, a parent contacted me to let me know her child (whom I helped all day) had tested positive and that I needed to quarantine. She thought I would, "want to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 113

Today, I got dumped. This man was my soulmate. His parents don’t like me cause I was his side chick while he was married. I know it was wrong, but the heart wants what it wants. Apparently his parents can’t let bygones be bygones, so now I’m single again and heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 1 589