Today I found out a colleague put in a report that I regularly... - FML

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By Anonymous - 06/09/2017 20:08

Today I found out a colleague put in a report that I regularly purchase cannabis. I work in a prison. And I have never touched illegal substances in my life. FML.

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GhostFox 33

Saturday 9 September 2017 9:15

If you get in trouble, offer to do a drug test, and to do them at random until your employers feel more confident in you. And report your coworker for slander/whatever you can.

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GhostFox 33

Saturday 9 September 2017 9:15

If you get in trouble, offer to do a drug test, and to do them at random until your employers feel more confident in you. And report your coworker for slander/whatever you can.

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Today, I was planning to ask a guy at school out since I had mustered up the confidence to finally tell him how I really felt. I ended up puking on him. FML

agreeclassic 3 003

vote type 1 368

Today, I put some Gold Bond in between my legs to help reduce moisture. After I finished applying it, I discovered that the Gold Bond had Menthol in it. My crotch is on fire. FML

agreeclassic 1 601

vote type 1 2 360

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

agreeclassic 14 859

vote type 1 30 831

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

agreeclassic 78 147

vote type 1 9 985

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

agreeclassic 30 318

vote type 1 4 027

Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML

agreeclassic 1 886

vote type 1 266