Today, I attended my weekly Dungeons and Dragons session where... - FML

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By no 20s please! - 11/05/2018 01:16

Today, I attended my weekly Dungeons and Dragons session where I get to DM it. I once again had to adjust and pace myself due to the fact that the hero characters are all lewd and lecherous males. And oh, I forgot to mention, my actual players are 12 year old girls. FML

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vote type 1 14

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lj19717 19

Sunday 13 May 2018 8:09

That sounds amazingly funny

genji_fml 13

Saturday 26 May 2018 8:55

Much better than the other way around!

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lj19717 19

Sunday 13 May 2018 8:09

That sounds amazingly funny

genji_fml 13

Saturday 26 May 2018 8:55

Much better than the other way around!

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Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML

agreeclassic 49 732

vote type 1 4 074

Today, I was in a public restroom trying to take a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

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Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML

agreeclassic 1 798

vote type 1 306

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

agreeclassic 37 352

vote type 1 4 500

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

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Today, it’s a rather wet summer and everything in our house is prone to mould. No, I’m not exaggerating when I say “everything”: I just found mould growing on the plates in the cupboard. And, no, we did not accidentally put them away unwashed. FML

agreeclassic 917

vote type 1 103