Narc By Ginna - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML agreeclassic 44 966 vote type 1 2 704 Share Tweet Share
Today, my girlfriend cried that I'm never available for her when she has a difficult time. I do everything I can to be available for her, but I draw the line at spending 30+ minutes at work listening to her cry over the phone. FML agreeclassic 480 vote type 1 93
Today, my girlfriend refuses to follow her doctor-mandated diet, which results in, among other things, utterly rancid gas. It's so foul that I've taken to sleeping on the couch, and I'm seriously considering hiring a prostitute so I can have sex without gagging on the stench. FML agreeclassic 453 vote type 1 245
Today, I accidentally left the pantry open. My narcissistic mother’s response was to spit on me and tell me to kill myself. FML agreeclassic 1 155 vote type 1 82
Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML agreeclassic 9 926 vote type 1 33 950
Today, I had my first day off in weeks. I was excited about getting to sleep in, until my boss called me at 6:30 in the morning to remind me I didn't have to come into work. Thanks. FML agreeclassic 40 871 vote type 1 3 265
Today, I played The Sims just so I'd know what it was like to live alone, own a home, and have a well-paying job that didn't slowly kill me from the inside out. It was the happiest I've been in months. FML agreeclassic 1 017 vote type 1 148
Plant a ***** in his drawer. Have your Mom go get something from his drawer.... Then enjoy the show :)
You can expect a free box of condoms any day now.