Weird, Awkward, Spooky and Work: Invasion of the bodysnatchers

Invasion of the bodysnatchers

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

agreeclassic 31 444

vote type 1 6 119

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Whodunnit

By emily - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cellphone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

agreeclassic 44 421

vote type 1 4 365

Flashdance

By Muhd Hazrie - 27/07/2021 02:01

Today, I was working as a security guard in a office building. It was 5 p.m. and most of the staff had gone home so it was pretty quiet. I did a little ballet dance around my security post. When I turned around, I saw my supervisor taking a video of me. He sent it to my boss. FML

agreeclassic 920

vote type 1 451

LET ME IN

By Zxry123 - 31/12/2022 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I work the night shift as a security officer. I packed my uniform and my stuff into one large bag and left for work. When I arrived, I realized that I'd left something important at home, so guess what it was? My security pass and it was almost 5 minutes before my shift started. FML

agreeclassic 714

vote type 1 280

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

agreeclassic 875

vote type 1 346

By fucked - 24/08/2014 20:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

agreeclassic 41 403

vote type 1 6 198

By anon - 23/11/2011 22:53

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

agreeclassic 32 025

vote type 1 3 034

By copshop - 10/11/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

agreeclassic 17 299

vote type 1 36 067

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

agreeclassic 36 965

vote type 1 3 143

Parp Blarp Mall Carp

By Clinch - 25/02/2022 04:00

Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML

agreeclassic 1 043

vote type 1 163

Stress factor 11

By Jonoq - 04/10/2019 16:00 - Canada

Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML

agreeclassic 1 496

vote type 1 131

boyguydudemalema 0

Friday 19 November 2010 8:57

because you applied for it ?

Hasmo 0

Friday 19 November 2010 8:58

someone needs to protect the zombies right? your doing your country a service

Comments

Sniper_Chick4110 20

Tuesday 25 March 2014 2:49

necrophiliacs

TsarKeith12 9

Thursday 15 May 2014 8:14

Easy money, man Don't question it

ViviMage 39

Wednesday 4 June 2014 9:20

You get paid to prevent a zombie apocalypse!

fantasyworld 37

Wednesday 9 July 2014 18:54

Zombies, organ harvesters, people who practice necrophilia, cannibals.

bambiboi89 11

Monday 27 October 2014 6:27

Incase voldermort needs inferi! Or walking dead becomes more than just a tv show! Do your duty to the world and warn us if one sits up!!

CaroAurelia 12

Friday 12 December 2014 2:40

One word: Necrophiles.

oops6663 26

Friday 9 January 2015 21:51

Because someone might pull some AHS shit and construct a body and try to bring it to life and you oughta stop them.

kyliescott1 5

Tuesday 24 March 2015 1:35

american horror story: coven, better call saul, very first episode

SchelleForelle 18

Thursday 26 March 2015 7:44

Zombies?

ChoolyBooly 32

Tuesday 14 April 2015 20:47

Zombies!!!

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML

agreeclassic 29 450

vote type 1 7 177

Today, after spending a great day with my nieces, I turned to my husband to ask him if maybe we should start trying to get pregnant like we both agreed we wanted to multiple times. Before the words even left my mouth he said, “God they were exhausting, thank God were not having kids.” FML

agreeclassic 836

vote type 1 261

Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML

agreeclassic 30 902

vote type 1 2 187

Today, according to a wild Karen, I shouldn’t be allowed to use a disabled bay because I don’t look disabled. I mean sure, I have a prosthetic leg, but I look "normal" so I’m not allowed. FML

agreeclassic 1 336

vote type 1 109

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

agreeclassic 41 028

vote type 1 8 466

Today, my fifteen year-old son decided to tell his little five year-old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML

agreeclassic 46 567

vote type 1 6 958