Group Project Struggles By FML Approved - 21/10/2017 14:30 - United States - New York Not helping never looked so cute! agreeclassic 496 vote type 1 105 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML agreeclassic 30 540 vote type 1 3 775
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML agreeclassic 950 vote type 1 116
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim he can’t eat me out because he has a short tongue, a genuine medical condition that means he can’t do it properly. Funny, because I’ve seen him use that short tongue to completely clean out a Cadbury Creme Egg before without issue. He’s now sulking. FML agreeclassic 436 vote type 1 94
Today, while examining my busted nose in the mirror, I had a sneeze attack. Now it looks like someone got their throat slashed in my bathroom. FML agreeclassic 13 123 vote type 1 1 476
Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML agreeclassic 33 558 vote type 1 4 060
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML agreeclassic 40 897 vote type 1 16 887
Looks like dad may have son srarting to train to chase cars, bikes, or people.