Dramatic Entrance Fail By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28 It's not easy being cheesy... agreeclassic 575 vote type 1 210 Share Tweet Share
Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML agreeclassic 37 493 vote type 1 2 681
Today, my mother met a new member of my band. He's a piano player from Mexico City. She introduced herself as my mother, then asked him if he spoke Spanish or Mexican. This lead to a long talk about how they speak Spanish in Mexico too. She didn’t believe him. FML agreeclassic 1 037 vote type 1 117
Today, my father was watching the story on the TV news of a girl who was killed by an Uber driver when trying to return home. The only thing he said was, "Serves her well for being a slut." I have two younger sisters and one among them had a miscarriage after her abusive ex-boyfriend raped her. FML agreeclassic 1 640 vote type 1 140
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML agreeclassic 35 479 vote type 1 18 101
Today, my girlfriend works for a company that cleans VRBOs, so while she went to see family for a week, I asked her coworkers to come clean while she was gone, even the owner of the company showed up, They deep-cleaned house, but when she got home I got yelled at for a dirty coffee mug on my desk. The coffee was still warm. FML agreeclassic 1 104 vote type 1 122
Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering their questions about him, when my dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through my teeth, and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML agreeclassic 25 535 vote type 1 3 284
Thank god the garage door was in the way, mom might have been just another statistic from being run over.