Work

Ban Zoom meetings

By Anonymous - 30/06/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I joined a Zoom call late and accidentally unmuted myself while yelling at my kids to stop fighting. I didn't realize I was unmuted until I saw my manager's horrified face and the rest of the team trying not to laugh. FML

agreeclassic 201

vote type 1 513

Perfect timing

By Poopalipa - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

agreeclassic 25 267

vote type 1 3 471

Seasonal

By crazyautio - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left, she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML

agreeclassic 31 236

vote type 1 3 051

Drunk on the job

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 03:00 - United States - Matawan

Today, I was in a rush to get my lunch for work. I quickly opened my fridge to grab it, and accidentally knocked over a beer, spilling a little on my pants. I told myself I'd spray them in the car. I forgot, and when I got into work, someone sat down and commented that they smelled beer. The person was a student. FML

agreeclassic 302

vote type 1 247

Guess who?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 08:00

Today, after I fired a guy two weeks ago for being a lazy ass, I'd put his job out for applicants to apply, I was going to have the interviews. My assistant informed me only one person applied. It was him, applying to get his job back. I had to rehire him because the position needed filling today. FML

agreeclassic 201

vote type 1 555

Jerry Maguire moment

By Anonymous - 27/06/2024 05:00

Today, it's been a week since my new boss destroyed our business in less than an hour. His first instruction was, “Fire that old guy who was rude to me.” That old guy was our lead fabrication engineer, with 45 years experience. He took 10 other engineers with him as he left, and most of our repeat customers. FML

agreeclassic 751

vote type 1 106

Mix up

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a VIP visited our building. I was put in charge of his hospitality and was very nervous. At one point, he asked me if he could, “Ahem… wash my hands.” Without thinking, I took him to our kitchen so he could use the sink. Turns out he needed a pee. He looked at me like I was an idiot. FML

agreeclassic 475

vote type 1 224

Cost effective

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss told me I’m doing too much overtime, and that it’s draining our budget. I never volunteer for overtime, I don’t need it. Every bit of overtime I do is shit he says I have to do to meet deadlines, most of which are just the parts of his job he can’t be bothered to learn how to do himself. FML

agreeclassic 582

vote type 1 90

Sketchy

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

agreeclassic 31 314

vote type 1 3 470

Surveillance

By HiddlePuff - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back, the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

agreeclassic 36 768

vote type 1 8 373

Best time

By Username - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML

agreeclassic 12 898

vote type 1 35 459

Another fine mess

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 15:00 - Colombia - Corozal

Today, I was talking with my closest coworker about her boss. She told me that she yelled at her and told her, "You capricious and silly girl, you have to be more independent and brave for this job. You are a lawyer; think about your duties." She told me this as her boss came up behind us. FML

agreeclassic 361

vote type 1 122

I hate my life

By jake - 24/06/2024 05:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, while working a grueling shift where I wanted to just die, my ex-girlfriend, her friend, and some permed up rich boys pulled to the drive-thru, blasting music and overall being a nuisance. One of her boyfriends pretended to put money in the tip jar, then went, “SIKE!” and they sped off laughing. FML

agreeclassic 518

vote type 1 109

Focus!

By get a job - 24/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I aren't speaking. He wanted to stay up late to "look for jobs", so I went to bed. An hour later, I was awoken to him screaming. When I ran in to see what was going on, he had a video game open. I shouldn't be mad at him because it was a "mega rare drop", he insists. FML

agreeclassic 456

vote type 1 149

Blue Monday

By Lesor - 24/06/2024 11:00 - Vietnam

Today, I want to quit my job so so much. My coworker stresses me out, I have a panic attack every time she calls me. I don't know anything, but it's because I haven't ever done this job before. Why can't she just show me the way instead of being so mean like that? I have trauma from working with this bitch for 3 months. FML

agreeclassic 414

vote type 1 225

The end of an era

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 07:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I had to quit my dream job, due to an injury I received at work over two months ago not fully healing. Not only do I really need the money, I’ll never find something I love doing so much, or a better group of coworkers. FML

agreeclassic 532

vote type 1 82

Taking the mickey

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, exactly 19 seconds after I logged on, my boss Zoom-called me to let me know 3 people are out sick, probably until Monday, so if I wouldn’t mind doing their work as well so we don’t fall behind, within working hours, no overtime available. He wasn’t happy when I told him no. FML

agreeclassic 573

vote type 1 88

Have fun!

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 06:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I worked from home and, by coincidence, it was the day that my partner was going away for the weekend with some friends. When one of them picked her up, I noticed that the other friend's husband was going on the trip. So other husbands are invited… but not me. FML

agreeclassic 593

vote type 1 119

Many such cases

By NeedJob pleaseeeee - 21/06/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I was sharing my screen on a company Zoom call. I inadvertently Teams messaged my colleague saying that the lady who was speaking on this video sounded annoying. Unbeknownst to me, the lady was one of the participants in the call. I forgot I was sharing my screen. They saw the conversation. I was fired. FML

agreeclassic 95

vote type 1 1 145

Stay classy

By militarywife2b - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML

agreeclassic 35 174

vote type 1 2 236

Suit yourself

By AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - 21/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my coworker, who constantly no-shows, ranted to me about his work hours being reduced. He somehow doesn't realize that he's the problem. We're understaffed as of now, so they can't fire him, and I have to be there constantly to make up for him being a lazy ass. My days off have been few and far between. FML

agreeclassic 464

vote type 1 107

New life

By jend - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went into work happy about my supervising promotion. When I arrived at work, I realized that only one person had decided to come into work today, which meant I had to clean 15 rooms, and supervise myself. FML

agreeclassic 42 853

vote type 1 3 864

No excuse

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I posted a selfie on Instagram showing off my new haircut. However, I hadn't noticed that I'd forgot to switch back from my company's official Instagram account to my private account. The caption? "Feeling cute, might delete later." It stayed up for over an hour, and my future as a social media manager is up for debate. FML

agreeclassic 96

vote type 1 722

Wrong place, wrong time

By Julia86 - 20/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I got to work early to set up a prank for my coworker Cathy. I wrapped everything on her desk in aluminum foil, including individual paperclips. As I finished, my boss walked in, pointed at the desk, and said, "Great work, but that's John’s desk. He’s out sick today." FML

agreeclassic 81

vote type 1 704

Infuriating

By Lauren - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full-time job at one work place would be too "depressing." I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML

agreeclassic 50 127

vote type 1 8 838

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

agreeclassic 466

vote type 1 144

Is that even legal?

By Anonymous - 19/06/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went for like my tenth job interview this week and yet again I had some smug interviewer who expected me to have an expert level answer to every question he asked me, and yet when I asked him about salary all he would tell me was it was "competitive." So probably less than 50% minimum wage. FML

agreeclassic 441

vote type 1 94

Bosses gonna boss

By Anonymous - 18/06/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss yelled at me because every time he does his checklist walk-through of the warehouse I’m always sat on my ass in the break room, either watching television or fast asleep. Yeah, he does his walk-through every day between 12:30 and 12:45, right in the middle of my lunch break. Idiot. FML

agreeclassic 583

vote type 1 86

Taking the piss

By Anonymous - 16/06/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss refused to increase my wages to the new minimum wage of £12 an hour. He says the quality of my work isn’t worth £12 and if I wanted a raise, he’d see me in employment tribunal. My boss is my dad, it’s a family business. I do 90% of the work while he sits at the bar drinking for free. FML

agreeclassic 589

vote type 1 124

Stylish

By Jenny - 16/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, a cute coworker came into the office with a completely new haircut. Instead of complimenting him with, "I like your hair," I said, "I like your head." He backed away slowly and avoided me for the rest of the day. FML

agreeclassic 340

vote type 1 197

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

agreeclassic 46 995

vote type 1 4 245

Today, I had to hide in the closet all morning because my 22-year-old boyfriend didn't want to admit to his parents that he had his girlfriend stay the night. FML

agreeclassic 24 679

vote type 1 4 274

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML

agreeclassic 38 504

vote type 1 13 999

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old-son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

agreeclassic 37 742

vote type 1 5 698

Today, my mom wanted me to pick up my cousin from work immediately. I'm in my shirt and underwear with no other clothes and I'm also too young to drive. She said "He won't mind, and just take my drivers license, they'll never know!" FML

agreeclassic 2 929

vote type 1 204

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was, "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

agreeclassic 29 562

vote type 1 3 203