Work

By christinamarie17 - 04/12/2014 06:57 - United States - Worcester

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 624

You deserved it 2 743

christinamarie17 tells us more.

christinamarie17 29

Thursday 4 December 2014 19:04

Hey guys! Just thought I'd explain since I couldn't fit the whole story into the FML. The woman had come into the restaurant about three months ago with two other ladies. I hadn't been up front at first and she was initially talking to another hostess. The first host tried to sit her at a table, at which point the woman said she wanted a booth. I joined the conversation at this point and stated we had a booth in Ryan's section. The woman exclaimed "Oh! Ryan!" She seemed excited so I said, "Yes, do you like Ryan? I can give you one of his tables." The woman said "Oh no, I have no idea who Ryan is. I've never been here before." I said "Oh, okay then. I'll sit you with Robert. Wait no, Robert just got a table. Let's go to Rachel." I took her to the table, asked if it was alright and she said it was fine. Thinking everything was okay I left. Halfway through her meal I see my manager at the table apologizing profusely. Once he left he asked me what the hell I did to the woman. Apparently she told her server that I tried to seat her at a table, refused to let her sit with Ryan and Robert, and forced her to sit here. She called me a twit, told her server she felt bad because Ryan and Robert were missing out on the huge tip she was going to give them, and that I don't know how to do my job. Since that day she has written to corporate saying that I am condescending, speak to my co-workers inappropriately, and need to be retrained. Yesterday was the first time she actually got in my face about it, and I was so stunned all I could say was "I'm sorry." I'm not trying to make myself out to be the model employee but this lady seems to have a personal vendetta against me. My managers have been understanding about it and I'm just hoping that with time she'll stop harassing me!

By nikkih_06 - 04/12/2014 05:20 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, I got a letter in the mail from corporate saying that I'm being demoted because I don't work enough hours. I also got a text from my boss congratulating me on making the best sales numbers for November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 846

You deserved it 2 314

nikkih_06 tells us more.

nikkih_06 16

Thursday 4 December 2014 20:55

I was demoted from part time to causal part time, which requires that I work less then 20 hours a week. And I only get commission if I go over my goal.

By WTF - 03/12/2014 21:21 - United States - Conroe

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 193

You deserved it 3 794

By smiles - 03/12/2014 01:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 168

You deserved it 7 177

By gotta euthanize em all - 29/11/2014 19:45 - Canada

Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 018

You deserved it 3 717

Slippery

By I'm so wet, baby - 28/11/2014 17:27 - United Kingdom

Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 808

You deserved it 7 639

By caterinette - 27/11/2014 02:04 - Portugal

Today, it was my turn to open the bar I work at. As I walked into our terrace, I found our insane upstairs neighbour leaving the scene without a word. This was right before I spotted the steaming pile of dung she'd left behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 180

You deserved it 2 252

By anonymous - 25/11/2014 03:25 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I was in a good mood for once, but my professor looked at me and said, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 639

You deserved it 3 787

Progress

By stupid - 24/11/2014 19:21 - United States - Middleton

Today, I realized that customers at my work ask me, "Are you new or just stupid?" just as often as they did when I first started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 278

You deserved it 8 149

By justinmdent - 24/11/2014 03:48 - United States - Excelsior Springs

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 711

You deserved it 2 962

Stiff upper lip

By StomachofTinfoil - 24/11/2014 01:59 - United States - Bar Harbor

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 328

You deserved it 3 610

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 10:27 - Australia - Box Hill South

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 931

You deserved it 2 545

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 10:03 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, the Salvation Army stationed one of their obnoxious bell-ringers in the mall right outside my store. My employees and I can wave goodbye to any form of sanity for the next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 884

You deserved it 5 181

By KilledTheMoment - 23/11/2014 06:10 - United States - Mundelein

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 068

You deserved it 17 865

WTF just happened?

By Carnage23 - 22/11/2014 10:16 - Germany - Essen

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss then announced that he's coming with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 156

You deserved it 4 015

By Anonymous - 21/11/2014 00:43 - United States

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 936

You deserved it 10 903

By spreadburger - 21/11/2014 00:29 - United States - Tampa

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 973

You deserved it 2 847

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 23:59 - United States - Eugene

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 018

You deserved it 5 930

Moron

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 20:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because, "Wi-Fi’s all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said, "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil Ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 935

You deserved it 4 227

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:20 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 297

You deserved it 3 927

By bookworm - 19/11/2014 20:56 - United States - Victoria

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 698

You deserved it 5 913

By ohgosh... - 18/11/2014 03:10 - United States - Fenton

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 301

You deserved it 2 777

By Anonymous - 17/11/2014 16:59 - United States

Today, after driving hundreds of miles to sign the paperwork for my new job, I found out the guy who hired me recently quit, and HR has no idea who I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 582

You deserved it 2 589

By username - 17/11/2014 03:52 - United States - Elkhart

Today, my father told me to "go get a job". He has been unemployed for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 001

You deserved it 3 260

By Anonymous - 17/11/2014 02:25 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 239

You deserved it 2 601

By UH60 - 15/11/2014 22:58 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 585

You deserved it 6 535

UH60 tells us more.

UH60 26

Sunday 16 November 2014 9:31

Yep, didn't cramp and so dropped two minutes off my run.

Weird customer of the day

By ChimerV - 15/11/2014 18:20 - France - Champenoux

Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 4 163

By thefatnurse - 13/11/2014 02:48 - United States - Roswell

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said, "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 222

You deserved it 4 622

By elsatheannoyed - 12/11/2014 04:34 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman. My name is Elsa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 130

You deserved it 4 543

By Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - 12/11/2014 03:16 - United States - Spotswood

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 120

You deserved it 5 197

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 016

You deserved it 3 376

Today, I was suffering from acid reflux. I was told that drinking water laced with baking soda would help. Nope, all it did was create a huge belch that made me vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 523

You deserved it 3 674

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 736

You deserved it 87 095

Today, I was in the gym when I noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the treadmill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until I got a sports bra that actually worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 460

You deserved it 47 522

Today, I dreamt of my mom. She came over to me, and said, "Hey, I'm alright, the doctors were wrong." My mom died 4 months ago due to Covid-19 complications, and waking up shouldn't be so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 85

Today, I was driving with a friend when we saw a wallet in the middle of his neighborhood road. When we picked it up, we saw it was loaded with cash. We drove to the man's house to return the wallet, and when we handed it to him he told us, "I would give you a reward but I don't have any cash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 266

You deserved it 6 036