Relatable

Unionize

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 14:00

Today, I have come to the realization that I will likely never be happy at a job. Either it’s low pay, bad work/life balance, racist/homophobic coworkers, or terrible bosses and/or customers. I’ve worked jobs in several different fields and it’s all the same. Yet people say “No one wants to work!” Fuck that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 610

Let me sleep!

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 00:00

Today, I'm freshly unemployed and so exhausted from my former job that I can actually really use the rest. Too bad that, for reasons ranging from cat noises to period emergencies, I have woken up at 6 a.m. for 4 days in a row now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 183

Analyst

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 16:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my wife insisted we try anal until we “got it right”. Well, she complained through the whole thing, wouldn’t let me quit, blamed me when I inevitably did orgasm and she didn’t, and then moaned about how it stings and needing a shower. I don’t even like anal, it’s not my thing at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 356

Bushy

By bluedevil26 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in a few months. Once she finished, she handed me the mirror and asked, "How does it feel to look human again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 136

You deserved it 12 777

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 04/11/2022 02:00 - United States - Enid

Today, my 24 year-old boyfriend said that he wanted to move out of our apartment, but also stay in a relationship. He's moving back in with his parents, over two hours away. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 134

Bad vibes

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 16:00

Today, a guy I went on a few dates with and was looking forward to seeing again this Wednesday told me he is not sure he sees this going anywhere. This always happens and I have no idea what I am doing wrong. I have lost hope in finding a boyfriend ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 194

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 12:00 - Germany

Today, the doctor saw in my file that I was 39 and asked me straight away, “How many kids do you have?” Not IF I had kids, just how many. Sure, a woman's main purpose is to procreate. What else could she want from life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 475

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I'm celebrating one year of retirement. Also, almost one year of recovering from a broken leg, quickly followed by a broken hip. I may never walk correctly again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 114

Cancel the wedding

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 14:00

Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 696

It all adds up

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 12:00

Today, I went to hospital for a potential stomach bug. According to a CT scan, I also found out that I have uterine fibroids as well. Yay for being a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 114

Unmotivational speaker

By Shivvy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I came downstairs disappointed thinking that my parents had forgotten my birthday. Turns out they didn't forget, they just couldn't be bothered to do anything for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 883

You deserved it 3 278

Sounds promising

By Anonymous - 01/11/2022 18:00

Today, I was at a restaurant with a friend when she said, "Oh, I have to arrange a meet up between you and a friend. She's just your type: she has daddy issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 181

Wait til you're 50

By Anonymous - 01/11/2022 00:00

Today, I read an FML about a guy who only kissed his girlfriend to make her shut up up. I left a comment, telling him to break up with her and stop wasting her time, only to realise I’d wasted 3 years on my abusive alcoholic ex. I’m now 30 and starting to think I’m getting too old to find someone and have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 499

Plop!

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 16:00

Today, I pissed out a kidney stone the size of a sweetcorn. Doesn’t sound big, but you just try pissing one out. My poor knob feels like it’s been attacked by rusty steel wool wrapped around a full-speed drill bit. I’m genuinely scared that the next time I piss will be full of blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 158

I could've been the main character…

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after switching careers to nursing, I got feedback for my first assessment. It indirectly implied, "Don't think like a doctor when you're studying nursing, don't diagnose patients." I barely passed and I'm only now realizing why my family was pushing me to go to med school. They know me better than myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 693

Troublemaker

By Straw man - 31/10/2022 06:00

Today, while I was at a restaurant, my drink had a straw that made a very obnoxious sound whenever I drank from it. Everyone near me was giving disapproving looks. I wasn't doing it on purpose, but they weren't buying it. Even after I got a new straw that didn't make an annoying sound, they still didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 190

Fashion week

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 04:00 - Germany

Today, I know my clothing size and the clothes I buy usually fit me. Except for underwear. How come women’s panties always seem to be at least one size smaller than advertised? FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 156

Excuses, excuses

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 02:00

Today, I saw a girl making out with presumably her boyfriend. This wouldn’t be a problem if she hadn’t told me she was asexual and didn’t like to be touched. The worst part is this isn’t even the first time this has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 364

Hashtag Not All Men, but quite a few, eh?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 22:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I was having some fun with a guy, but I had to fake orgasm twice just so he would get out of me it was that shit. Third guy in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 1 187

Growing old sucks

By Jaymail - 30/10/2022 06:00

Today, I went to have my ears cleaned out because I’ve been experiencing signs of deafness. Guess what? My ears were already clear. I need hearing aids. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve lost my hair, some of my sight, and some teeth, so yeah, why not my hearing at this point… FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 123

Stop stealing Kias!

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I watched a video of the absolute dumbest and most dangerous TikTok trends, and I practically lost all my faith in humanity. Then, when I remembered that almost all of these people are/were around my age (I'm eighteen), and whatever faith in humanity I had left after watching the video completely vanished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 283

Classic line

By David - 29/10/2022 22:00

Today, after celebrating our 5 year anniversary, my girl told me that’s she loves me, but is not in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 112

Personal preference or Fatphobia? You decide!

By IHateFakePpl - 29/10/2022 12:00

Today, I learned that losing 110 lbs causes people to start kissing your ass. The same people who told me to go fuck myself and didn’t give me the time of day before are now worshipping the ground I walk on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 311

Chilly season

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 04:00 - Germany

Today, I'm neither tall, nor do I have disproportionately long legs, but I have never found a pair of leggings that actually covers my entire calves, which is less than ideal if the reason you buy leggings in the first place is to wear them under your pants in winter so you don’t get cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 137

It's me!

By He who must not be named - 29/10/2022 02:00 - United States

Today, my mom struggled tried to say my name. She said my brother's name, my sister's, my dad's, my uncle's, and finally my cat's (who doesn't even have a human name) before she gave up and said, "You!" and pointed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 125

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 16:00

Today, I had a phone call from a company I was applying to. It was going really well, until the call ended. Now since I'm so used to calling my girlfriend, I ended the call with, "Love you, bye." And if things couldn't get any worse, I started swearing to myself. The recruitment officer heard me. I forgot to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 898

Fork in the road

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 06:00 - United States - Blanchard

Today, one of my best friends, someone I considered family, and whose kid I see as my nephew, picked a piece of shit dude she’s been seeing for 3 months over me. And no, I didn’t make her choose. He decided to be an ass to me and when I wasn’t OK with it, she just let him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 194

Nepotism

By emmalou - 27/10/2022 06:00

Today, I was let go from my job that I have been at for 6 months, all because someone from the past wants to come back, and the current office manager will be going on maternity leave. I'm just collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 118

Lonesome today

By The unfavorite - 26/10/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, I've noticed a pattern with my classmates: Every time a new student shows up, they are treated by my classmates as though they've known each other for years. Everyone except me. When I first came along, I was more or less a wallflower. No one wanted anything to do with me. The same is true today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 166

Sucks for grandma too

By What about granny - 25/10/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, my mom made the (not) very wise decision to once again inform me that my grandma is in rapidly declining health, and as a result she is not long for this world. My brain took this as an opportunity to push my anxiety into overdrive. I can't stop thinking about what will happen when my grandma dies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 269

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 538

You deserved it 4 442

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 562

You deserved it 3 997

Today, I had a customer tell me that I don't look a day over 39. I'm 35. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 077

You deserved it 460

Today, my dad wants a divorce. I can either stay with my wine-loving mom or move 300 km away with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 783

You deserved it 188

Today, I learned that the windows in my flat will be removed and then replaced with new ones. This would be very good, if it wasn't for the ongoing removal of the asbestos insulation in the very same flat. I guess the administration will pay less for scaffolding this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 615

You deserved it 145

Today, I got refused a Red Bull because I didn't have my ID on me and you have to be over 16 to legally buy one. I'm 26 and was paying for petrol for the car that I was going to drive away in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 584