Funerals

The sociopaths amongst us

By Anonymous - 26/10/2023 22:00

Today, my boss is such an unfeeling asshole that he seriously thought he could demand I only stay at my best friend's funeral for 45 minutes then return to work, because it was “just a friend, not a relative', and that when his mother died he "took a whole 2 hours off and was back at work by 11:45.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 95

The giggle loop

By Smiley - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, as always, I tend to smile and giggle when I'm nervous. I couldn't stop it from happening at my friend's grandmother's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 550

You deserved it 3 787

Traditional

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 02:01

Today, while I was at work, my dumbass husband gave his dead rabbit a Viking funeral by sending it down the river behind our house in a crate he set on fire. It got stuck on a tree, which caught on fire, along with the field and the warehouse next to the field. The police think he did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 180

By Kurt's Dad - 15/05/2019 16:04

Today, during my grandmother's funeral, my talented ten-year-old son found the church organ and began playing Smells Like Teen Spirit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 333

Have kid they said, it'll be great they said

By Anonymous - 24/09/2021 02:00

Today, my son is a real ass. My mother died and he literally only booked off half a day to attend his own grandmother's funeral, doesn’t plan to spend time with me after the burial, and since he booked it, all he has done is complain about the three meetings he’s going to miss that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 276

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 19/07/2021 07:59

Today, my grandad smacked me on the back of the head, and told me to, "Act like a goddamn man and stop crying." It was at the funeral of my mum and sister, who both died in a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 154

You deserved it 130

Controlling

By Anonymous - 09/04/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my soon to be ex-husband and ex-mother in law informed me I couldn't go to the funeral of a really good friend we shared. I went anyway, but I can't imagine how the divorce is going to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 103

Graveyard remix

By Jacky-Boy - 07/08/2009 00:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 616

You deserved it 7 487

Shut up!

By Unfun funeral - 01/11/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I went to my uncle's funeral. His eulogy was ruined by an annoying little kid repeatedly talking over the pastor, who didn't pause for anything, no matter how many times his parents told him to stop. The complimentary lunch was horrible, and the hearse driving him to the cemetery got into an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 80

There you are

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, at an aunt's wake, my five year-old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 578

You deserved it 3 644

The truth will out

By Anonymous - 04/06/2019 22:00

Today, despite all my begging for him to at least be civil, my son started his eulogy at his dad's funeral with the words, “Let me tell you a few things about the bastard in the coffin over there.” It only got worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 472

You deserved it 721

By Jeff G. - 23/01/2012 00:31 - United States

Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 686

You deserved it 5 916

A lot to take in

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I'm hopping on a flight to Florida to pay my final respects to a friend. In December I had to attend the funeral of a friend's young daughter who just didn't wake up one day. In the following two weeks I lost a friend to a heart attack, a friend to suicide, and two friends to cancer. Tomorrow I attend my final funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 108

F*** Grandma, eh kids?

By Sorry mommy - 13/08/2024 14:00 - United States - Corona

Today, I was so distraught during my mother’s funeral that I hadn’t been paying attention to anything around me. At some point, my kids changed my ringtone to “Ding dong the witch is dead” and turned my phone to full volume. They called while I was doing her eulogy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 118

Why are we even here?

By Bamboozled - 03/11/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me that we were going to go and see my uncle, who lives very far away. I got excited, until I realized they fucking lied so I would attend the funeral of an acquaintance of my father, whom I had never met in my life, and he only met a couple times. This is why I have trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 146

Supportive

By Anonymous - 15/08/2022 00:00 - Australia

Today, it's my husband's funeral. My adult children never made it secret that they didn't like him, but I'd hoped they'd come to support me. Their replies when I asked them went from, "You know I hated him", to "No, I have work", to "I'm not going anywhere near that fanatic's church." FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 1 242

By tazthespaz - 29/12/2016 03:18 - United States - Comstock Park

Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 221

You deserved it 397

Schadenfreude

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 22:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I missed a single letter when reading the Bible at church. Instead of "Hope was rich with immortality", I said "Hope was rich with immorality." Nobody at the funeral noticed, except an anonymous FML user who tried not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 113

Late stage capitalism

By Cron - 28/08/2022 00:00

Today, my time-off request was denied because I'd said on my application that I have “open availability.” This is normally true, except my mother passed away and I need to travel to go to her funeral. I attempted to appeal, but ended up fired for “misleading” the company by “lying on a job application.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 126

A promise is a promise

By Anonymous - 25/07/2021 04:01

Today, my mom went to my dad's funeral as the Grim Reaper. Apparently, because they were both massive Terry Pratchett fans, they'd agreed whoever outlived the other had to go to the funeral as Death. No one else found it funny and more than a few swore to never speak to her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 208

Long eulogy

By Anonymous - 30/04/2022 12:00

Today, the minister at my grandpa's funeral had a speech impediment that made him stutter his R’s. My grandpa’s name was Robert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 90

The disrespect

By Anonymous - 20/07/2021 11:01

Today, I visited my mom at the graveyard first thing in the morning. Not even 24 hours after the funeral, someone’s dog had taken a massive, liquidy shit all over her grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 70

Respect the dead

By yawny - 22/10/2023 16:00

Today, I got slapped in the face for stifling a yawn at my grandmother’s funeral. I wasn’t being disrespectful; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 151

Great question, I'm glad you asked

By partycats - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted, "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 038

You deserved it 19 951

Karma

By ElleSavage - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I finally found a dress I'd been missing for months. It was in a casket, on my recently deceased cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 580

You deserved it 335

Stressed out

By Anonymous - 07/08/2023 06:00

Today, I was supposed to fly home for my dad's funeral, but the woman in the seat next to me was so obese, her bulging flesh left absolutely no way for me to sit in my seat. I complained to the stewardess, who then forced me to leave the plane just for raising my voice in frustration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 515

By waytootan - 22/08/2011 20:34 - United States

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 043

You deserved it 3 135

Spookmagooked

By kellbell24 - 12/07/2021 14:01

Today, I went to my husband’s funeral. Not his real one, his rehearsal funeral. He just wants to make sure everything will go according to plan. As far as I know, he is a very healthy 26-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 124

Happy anniversary?

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, it was my one-year anniversary with my girlfriend, but instead of celebrating, we had to attend a family funeral with a bunch of people who "don't agree with our lifestyle." To make matters worse, I received my first ticket on the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 150

It's what he would've wanted

By vinvin2210 - 10/02/2023 04:00

Today, we went to disperse my father's ashes in his favorite lake. My brother was anxious to show off to his new wife, and took us to a fancy resort on the lake. He fell into the lake with my dad's ashes. Nobody laughed when he got out. Oh and as he's a stingy ass, I ended up paying for the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 140

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my roommate blocked my phone number and won't speak to me. All because I mistakenly used her hand soap, thinking it was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 087

You deserved it 2 191

Today, I ran out of cash. The nearest ATM to my house is over a half hour away by foot. After walking all the way there under the blistering heat of the sun, I realized I'd left my card back at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 646

You deserved it 23 845

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 198

You deserved it 4 770

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 890

You deserved it 3 062

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 991

You deserved it 6 289

Today, my girlfriend was too busy having sex with my roommate to notice our accommodation being burgled. So now I don’t have a girlfriend, a rent paying roommate, a television, a PS5 or, for some reason, half of the books from my bookshelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 104