The Top

A street that didn't have a specific turning lane. And to clarify my blinker was on. Took awhile to turn because there was a lot of cars coming toward so I was there a while.

By nicholascageonyourface - 09/06/2013 05:13 - United States - Papillion

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 447

You deserved it 5 151

By SnurklesMcGee - 12/02/2016 22:08 - Canada

Today, I learned I don't have to spend Valentine's Day alone. My parents invited me along on their date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 603

You deserved it 2 014

By Fillifilo - 18/04/2012 04:38 - France

Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 796

You deserved it 3 814

Health scare

By sillygoose - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered on my back. It was chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 385

You deserved it 44 973

Read the room

By IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 926

You deserved it 5 823

Hummmmm

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 16:11 - United States - Spokane

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 173

You deserved it 10 546

By Anon - 26/01/2016 11:40 - United Kingdom - Kingston Upon Thames

Today, I requested a pay rise at work. They said they couldn't do it as they have to cut costs, so I resigned. They've now re-advertised my job for more money than I asked for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 680

You deserved it 3 135

Chill?

By stickygoober - 20/11/2018 15:00 - United States - Peoria

Today, my boss sent a message to a coworker saying, "We're putting all of you back on the phones because one of you can't stop watching Netflix so corporate thinks you guys don't do anything." That person was me. Everyone's pissed at me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 7 386

By helloimkylieee - 25/01/2016 01:04 - United States - Tracy

Today, I had to convince my parents to shut the door when they have sex. They have done this on multiple occasions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 821

You deserved it 1 570

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 182

You deserved it 9 461

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 882

You deserved it 1 610

Today, I found out via Facebook that my once-favourite aunt has fully bought into the QAnon bullshit about the "stolen" US election, bible quotes and all. We live in the UK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 192

Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 735

You deserved it 1 788

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to show us an example of the type of shoes we would be wearing in the show. She brings in a pair of hideous black combat boots, and I remark how ugly they are. They're her own favorite boots. I had to carpool with her after rehearsal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 556

You deserved it 60 183

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 890

You deserved it 3 632

Today, the guy I was dating told me he thought I was a good person. His reasoning? I'm not ugly enough to be a bad person, but I'm not pretty enough, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 683

You deserved it 880