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By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 00:31

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 662

You deserved it 2 076

By Imagino1234 - 14/12/2016 18:52 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my mother sent off a handmade Christmas wreath I made for my 70-year-old grandmother. It wasn't until after it was sent that we realized the box it was packed in was originally for adult diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 915

You deserved it 1 261

Loose connections

By CheeseLover - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring

Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 064

You deserved it 1 275

I'm not paid enough for this

By Doublescrewed - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I showed up for my first shift in my new night job; I now work at an apartment complex during the day and at a gas station at night. It turns out that our biggest problem tenant in the former happens to be my boss in the latter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 638

You deserved it 1 634

Good one, asshole

By Anonymous - 24/05/2013 21:43 - Iceland - Akureyri

Spicy

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 671

You deserved it 6 315

By Babysitter Probs - 27/11/2016 05:58 - United States - Fresno

Today, the 8 year old that I babysit every week told me that it was sad that I didn't have a boyfriend while he has a girlfriend. I got burned by a 3rd grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 351

You deserved it 976

By Tim - 03/08/2011 07:40 - United States

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 917

You deserved it 6 163

By foodsicknessinATL - 24/11/2016 00:08 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I spent the busiest travel day of the year in the busiest airport in the world trapped between the decision to leave the terminal bathroom or shit my pants. Yes, I missed my flight. Sorry, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 541

You deserved it 930

By buttsmcgee - 22/11/2016 07:05 - United States - Roseburg

Today, we finally got paperwork saying we were approved for a loan to buy a house! The only problem? It's not eligible for the county we live in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 090

You deserved it 938

Hard times

By psychopumpkin - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 689

You deserved it 7 469

By yuck - 17/07/2019 14:15

Spicy

Today, my father informed me that he is going to divorce his bitch of a wife, but told me not to say anything to mess things up, in case he wants to "hit that one more time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 151

By Pups4Cups - 26/10/2016 12:43

Today, I finally realized why my 9-week-old puppy was going to the bathroom so much. I went to pick up the food bag and realized she had chewed a hole in the bottom, and eaten half of the bag in the last 4 days. Goodbye 30 pounds of dog food, and 100$ for a vet visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 405

You deserved it 1 800

By Anonymous - 07/09/2015 15:49 - United States - Bradenton

Today, I was sitting in a bar telling some young dude to accept responsibility for his life choices. I'm over 50 and was spending my last five dollars on beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 600

You deserved it 25 704

By acnecream - 03/05/2013 13:23 - Finland - Kinnulanlahti

Spicy

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 313

You deserved it 73 872

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 20:00

Today, at work, we ran out of receipt paper. Someone paid for $3 in gas and asked for a receipt. I explained that the company we order our paper from sent us toilet paper, not receipt paper. He got mad and said that he was never coming back. Twenty minutes later, he was back to get $3 more in gas, wanting a receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 140

By E - 20/10/2016 19:07

Today, my office smells like a giant turnip green fart because of a sewage leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 444

You deserved it 790

By anonymous - 11/10/2016 05:23 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 608

You deserved it 2 217

Confused

By Nathanael Johnson - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my roommate came home from work and yelled at me for my dinner being too spicy. The same dinner he denied stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 505

You deserved it 214

By Anonymous - 06/10/2016 19:01 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, while checking my voicemail, I noticed I had received one from a job that I've been trying to get in for months. Too bad they called two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 940

You deserved it 8 836

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 11:28 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 458

You deserved it 10 134

GET OUTTA MY WAY

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 106

You deserved it 5 441

First date, and probably the last

By DrunkGirl - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 780

You deserved it 63 401

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 381

You deserved it 2 790

Gotcha!

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 03:57 - United States - State College

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 312

You deserved it 23 147

Good one, thanks

By Madeline Lee - 09/04/2012 21:34 - France - Pessac

Spicy

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying, "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 720

You deserved it 3 045

By MILF - 16/04/2014 22:03 - United States - Maryland Heights

Spicy

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 121

You deserved it 6 720

By BadLuckBetty - 09/08/2016 11:33 - United States - Millville

Today, after weeks of flirting with the hot guy at the gym, he finally asked me to meet up with him outside. I was diagnosed with strep throat just hours before our date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 018

You deserved it 1 562

Love is…

By Anonymous - 30/09/2019 14:00

Today, I went to a job interview. At the end of it, after I had got the job, my new manager said, “See you soon.” I then accidentally replied, “You too, love you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 400

By cmerr - 19/03/2009 07:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153 960

You deserved it 9 786

By Raven3434 - 27/09/2009 18:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out that he has kidney failure. He was feeling sick for a few weeks and I had told him to drink lots of fluids and eat vegetables. Apparently that is really bad for kidney patients. I was killing him with water and spinach salads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 629

You deserved it 11 274

Raven3434 tells us more.

Raven3434 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 6:20

Just to put it out there, he had complete kidney failure. He is now on dialysis. His kidneys are toast and he needs a transplant. Apparently it was caused by years of high blood pressure. His kidneys were in trouble before we even met. And I had been encouraging him to go to the doctor. He had seen a few doctors, but nobody diagnosed him until his lungs were full of fluid. He can't drink too much fluid because he can't get rid of it without dialysis. He cant eat too many fruits or vegetables because he can't process out the extra phosphate and potassium. He also has to limit his sodium, but that wasn't part of my original post. Just wanted to clarify things. Thanks to all of you out there who offered support. Its been a really hard time.

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Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 050

You deserved it 34 543

Today, I got accused of ruining my girlfriend's birthday, all because I accidentally got her the same birthday present as her mother did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 387

You deserved it 1 516

Today, I tried to seduce my long term boyfriend into doing the deed for about an hour. He didn't even put his phone down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 247

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 121

You deserved it 2 566

Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 1 457

Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 451

You deserved it 8 966