The Top

Hey everyone, OP here. Let me shed a little light here. I was greatful she got me something to begin with! So don't say I wasn't, the sugar cookies were very yummy. It was just very misleading is all. And everyone curious what was in the wrapped present I didn't open it, there was a note flap on it and it didn't have my name on it. I texted her confused and she said it was the cookies. So yes I was greatful, and I'm a bit curious what she got 'Sara' too.

Don't do this

By storksleuth - 04/10/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 962

You deserved it 5 625

By Anonymous - 22/10/2014 17:37 - United States - Allen

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 789

You deserved it 7 264

By tbree - 19/09/2014 22:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 071

You deserved it 4 478

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 830

You deserved it 12 133

By Indoraptor - 14/11/2009 12:59 - United States

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 472

You deserved it 3 147

Every home should have one

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 594

Nailed it

By watch_corn_dance - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Pontiac

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 974

You deserved it 3 633

Bad hair day

By Faithy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 918

You deserved it 49 036

Manchild

By beeee - 26/07/2010 04:03 - Australia

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 12 580

By Alexander - 30/05/2010 16:53 - Russian Federation

Today, I found that my cats somehow managed to pull the plug of my fridge out of the socket. Several days ago. Now I have to get rid of a ton of stinking food and clean the stinking fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 748

You deserved it 7 357

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 17:24 - United States

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 421

You deserved it 6 232

The only true love

By burned_away - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my boyfriend was leaving for work. From the other room I heard him call out, "See you soon beautiful." Touched, I went to give him a parting kiss. He stopped me and said, "I was talking to the cat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 270

You deserved it 4 950

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 16:17 - United Kingdom - Uddingston

Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 172

You deserved it 3 982

By mosaicevolution - 03/01/2015 04:04 - United States - Decatur

Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 244

You deserved it 16 935

By highschoolsucks - 05/10/2012 02:44 - United States

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 488

You deserved it 6 566

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 16:18 - United Kingdom

Today, my 14 year-old son sent a broadcast on my blackberry saying ''I'm a young gay man looking for some fun!'' to all my contacts as a joke. What he didn't know was that it's my work phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 949

You deserved it 5 663

Phoebe??

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 00:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 409

You deserved it 1 710

By fired tomoz - 29/10/2014 15:46 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 820

You deserved it 3 015

By Whytetrash - 20/06/2013 06:32 - Australia - Sydney

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 078

You deserved it 3 236

By sabotaged - 02/11/2015 00:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, I got fired from my dream job. I found out today that the girl who trained me lied and taught me how to do things wrong, so that when she got back from maternity leave, she could get me fired and take her job back. My new coworkers were in on her plan from the beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 900

You deserved it 1 592

Let 'em in

By sister_woes - 09/10/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 107

You deserved it 4 617

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 961

You deserved it 3 990

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 16:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 986

You deserved it 5 306

Blind rage

By prickly - 11/10/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 068

You deserved it 2 865

Crotch rot

By LassieToe - 30/03/2012 03:48 - Australia

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 479

You deserved it 2 833

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 07:32 - Australia

Today, I was talking to a guy I really liked, hoping that he would ask me out. Eventually he asked for my number. I was so excited that I couldn't remember it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 216

You deserved it 8 628

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I moved several states to start a life with my boyfriend. It would've been nice to know he was cheating before buying a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 206

Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 222

You deserved it 33 151

Today, my coworker tested positive for Covid. Here's to working 11 hours shifts for the next 10 days to help cover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 129

Today, my girlfriend walked out on me because she realised she doesn’t love me enough to go through a second lockdown with me and our 2-year-old daughter FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 117

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 423

You deserved it 5 428

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 211

You deserved it 42 741