Sex, Wanker Intimacy WTF dude?

WTF dude?

lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

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Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

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Juiced - 26/09/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

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That's that, then

Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

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Anonymous - 15/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

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What the…

bunny - 16/08/2009 13:58 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

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Kyra.45 - 03/10/2013 22:46 - United States - Troy

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

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Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

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Hard to believe

- 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

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jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

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GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

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alexm501 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 12:05

Hopefully it wasn't a banana

KennKenn 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 12:04

At least it wasn't apple pie.

DankTurtle 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 15:25

Did he then eat the fruit

carcarad 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 11:04

Lmfao

spazz666 18

Tuesday 8 November 2011 15:33

Actually... She spells bananas. B-a-n-a-n-a-s. it makes a LOT more sense if you think about it. :P

lolmigosh 15

Tuesday 8 November 2011 15:37

Giggity giggity oooh yeahhhh

nicoreal89 1

Tuesday 8 November 2011 16:00

Did you beat some fruit ass?!

ndnpride88 25

Tuesday 8 November 2011 16:08

Wow that's disturbing need to find you a real man haha

FroHo 8

Wednesday 9 November 2011 5:25

Or she needs to step up the game..

corrinaswan 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 16:08

What fruit hahah

13FMYLIFE 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 16:19

Bet he herd that sperm taste better when you have fruits... but I'm not so sure he was thinking eating!

Mauskau 35

Tuesday 8 November 2011 16:30

Now he's got a fruity dick, dig in!

detective_oreo 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 16:32

Well this is a fruity situation

foolishototo 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 16:50

Fruity-licious?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I learned that lightning and flash flooding are the best motivatiors. I learned this while on a run and 2 miles away from school. FML

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Today, I spilled some milk on my laptop. I was pretty sure it would be fine as it was only a bit of milk. While cleaning the residue, I knocked a whole bucket of water into the insides of the laptop. RIP Macbook. FML

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Today, I dreamt that the fabric and pattern I was working on were sliding off the table so I quickly reached to grab it, effectively driving my fingers into my husband's eyes. Fuck his life too. FML

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Today my husband went to buy a car from some guy from Facebook. He ended up giving the guy $1000 upfront before receiving the title or bill of sale. So now, we have a car we can't use, we're completely broke now, and the guy is ghosting us. FML

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Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML

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Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

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