Intimacy Ouchie

Ouchie

Anonymous - 10/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Agony

Ouch - 22/12/2021 22:59 - Netherlands

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

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Ballhugger - 06/12/2009 20:42 - Canada

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

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crushed dreams - 16/06/2011 06:20 - United States

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

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suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

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Wrong place, wrong time

Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

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inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

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Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

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What kind of sex are you having?

Anonymous - 30/12/2022 00:00

Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML

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Mah bawsac

Anonymous - 12/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

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Anonymous - 25/08/2015 07:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

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allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:23

My favourite part is how she just left when you guys were done. You didn't have to pay for that sex, right? I can't imagine what runs through a hooker's mind when you tell her, "Don't wake my parents..."

xxmollyxx 25

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:23

How the hell did she manage that?

gamegeek42 6

Monday 11 July 2011 0:08

oh it is very possible. the same thing happened to me before. but it wasn't that bad. but I did make her stop.

ghettojoker 4

Monday 11 July 2011 0:21

that should be calles a nutcracker

thetrollyoulike 6

Monday 11 July 2011 0:32

better than burst testicles.... I think...

gunman15 4

Monday 11 July 2011 0:36

was the sex worth it like how good

SXRacer9 0

Monday 11 July 2011 0:36

congrats on losing the vcard

tasic 1

Monday 11 July 2011 0:38

****. get better soon

davek 36

Monday 11 July 2011 1:02

She could have given you a blowie and bitten your dick off!

DrewsFML 8

Monday 11 July 2011 1:07

She's bragging to all her friends, "I tried that new move we invented and he loooooved it! You should have heard him scream! I can't wait to do it to him again tomorrow - only harder!"

em1nem13 0

Monday 11 July 2011 1:12

WHAT?!

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 11 July 2011 1:22

If that was my FML I think it would have said "After I regained consciousness at 3:00am..." That must have hurt OP. Props for keeping on going. And being able to explain away the blood in your semen.