Illness, Hospital Awkward Wrong place, wrong time

Wrong place, wrong time

Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

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Medicare for all

US_Healthcare_Sucks - 30/07/2021 14:01

Today, I went to a doctor's appointment, being concerned about some abnormal swelling and soreness in one of my testicles. They fondled my balls for 20 seconds before saying, "Yeah, that's abnormal. You should probably go get an ultrasound somewhere and maybe take some ibuprofen for the pain. That'll be $265." FML

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suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

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neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

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Experimental

Anonymous - 01/01/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML

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Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

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FML Uncensored

Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

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Foosa801 - 25/12/2016 23:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I woke up my friend and had him take me to the ER. I had trouble breathing and my chest hurt, so the doctor put me on an EKG and took X-rays. I had strained my chest lifting weights at the gym earlier that day and pulled a muscle, and now thanks to my massive anxiety I have a $700 hospital bill. FML

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Bailed out

Why's it so cold in here? - 01/02/2015 18:13 - United States

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

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hospital - 05/10/2010 23:36 - United States

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

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Big wuss

tessisue - - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML

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tido26 17

Wednesday 10 March 2021 1:07

I can promise you that she doesn't care. Just about anyone in the medical field doesn't care about your junk, so it's only weird if you make it weird

outbackbrett 2

Wednesday 10 March 2021 1:02

dam just don't let yourself get a hard on lol

outbackbrett 2

Wednesday 10 March 2021 1:02

dam just don't let yourself get a hard on lol

tido26 17

Wednesday 10 March 2021 1:07

I can promise you that she doesn't care. Just about anyone in the medical field doesn't care about your junk, so it's only weird if you make it weird

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 10 March 2021 1:26

I hope you mean "medical" field. The media field cares a lot about balls!

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 10 March 2021 1:24

Serves you right for going to a strip club without a codpiece. They'll probably give you some serious meds for ********-check-induced tachycardia.

peterblack67 9

Wednesday 10 March 2021 8:03

You called an ambulance???

Warp1978 15

Wednesday 10 March 2021 19:31

I'm with you here, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THOSE THINGS COST (everyone's mum)

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 10 March 2021 8:32

You need to admit to the nurse that you're nuts about her.

DixieNormous 3

Friday 12 March 2021 1:25

I'm not seeing an issue here lol

gidonene 7

Monday 15 March 2021 13:06

i was in a similar situation when i had to get surgery to lower one off my bals to reduce the risk of cancer, it was great we reconnected while she massaged my balls and we're great friends now

phile 15

Tuesday 16 March 2021 16:29

Look in the bright side, at least you made someone's day through balls infection. Nobody could ever do that

repKyle95 24

Tuesday 22 February 2022 6:38

Good lord, that is awful. I genuinely have to ask though, how the **** does a ******** get infected? Did you have some sort of laceration or other entry wound? I'm genuinely curious... mainly because I never want this to happen to MY balls. Lmao