Drunk, Thief Health Legged it

Legged it

poserpilot - - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

37 976

6 836

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

mylifeisamovie - 28/02/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

11 647

58 809

Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

32 952

3 130

XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

27 967

2 011

Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

44 354

15 626

WTH happened?

Anonymous - 05/10/2009 05:11 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML

14 379

42 568

Rough night, huh?

Anonymous - 12/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML

563

189

Very smart

Leauge - 28/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML

2 455

316

Unhappymothersday - 17/05/2012 20:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

28 537

2 179

BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

34 871

4 315

doneanddone - 28/02/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML

43 797

8 752

loserboii 11

Monday 12 November 2012 19:13

You sure someone isn't pulling your leg?

BatteryAddict 11

Monday 12 November 2012 19:14

Are you sure? You might've just misplaced it. Drunk people tend to do that.

TheKrogan 4

Monday 12 November 2012 19:21

You probably misplaced it. It is pretty common for drunks to do that.

WiseGuy79 14

Monday 12 November 2012 19:30

I've heard of getting drunk and losing your shirt, losing your lunch, losing your gf, etc. But losing your leg?? That's a new one for FML lol

BntyHntrSeattle 30

Monday 12 November 2012 19:30

Did the thief know it was Veterans Day? It makes it even worse!! :

thewife5 19

Tuesday 13 November 2012 1:19

Not everyone who loses a leg is a veteran.

Alan2 24

Monday 12 November 2012 19:30

Santa Anna finally got his revenge

ICastillo 24

Monday 12 November 2012 19:37

Well somebody has a trophy for the night.

lysx84 24

Monday 12 November 2012 19:38

Perhaps you fell victim to a drunken scavenger hunt?

j_cat187 19

Monday 12 November 2012 19:42

At least you didn't woke up missing your other leg.

challan 19

Monday 12 November 2012 19:44

Well ain't that a kick in the head!

viper_dlh04 1

Monday 12 November 2012 19:47

OMG!!! What "hop"pened ?

WingsFan80 4

Tuesday 13 November 2012 7:19

70 that's Marylyn Manson. Not at all.

greenie213 23

Monday 12 November 2012 19:49

Shiver me timbers! Me peg leg be missin'!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

27 161

22 109

Today, my fiancé of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML

61 527

3 599

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. While under the influence of the drugs, I tried to speak Japanese. Later, my Japanese roommate informed me that I was saying "I am a weasel" over and over again. FML

3 438

565

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

49 305

24 161

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

42 545

5 356

Today, I was in my hot tub with my brand new phone. I set it down and when I grabbed my towel I knocked it into the water. I quickly snatched it up and dried it off with the towel and suprisingly only one button stopped working. It was the unlock button, a perfectly good phone that I can't use. FML

8 896

47 950