Drunk, Thief Health Legged it

Legged it

poserpilot - - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

mylifeisamovie - 28/02/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

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Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

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XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

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Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

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WTH happened?

Anonymous - 05/10/2009 05:11 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML

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Rough night, huh?

Anonymous - 12/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML

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Very smart

Leauge - 28/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML

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Unhappymothersday - 17/05/2012 20:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

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BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

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doneanddone - 28/02/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML

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loserboii 11

Monday 12 November 2012 19:13

You sure someone isn't pulling your leg?

BatteryAddict 11

Monday 12 November 2012 19:14

Are you sure? You might've just misplaced it. Drunk people tend to do that.

ZombieKitteh 8

Friday 16 November 2012 9:30

I'll tell ya who stole that leg. That damn Sasquatch.

staceejaxx 6

Saturday 17 November 2012 16:56

Dude! Prosthetic leg?

Federgirl 19

Saturday 1 March 2014 18:59

I don't understand why someone would do that. that's so messed up! I'm sorry.

Clypsia 13

Saturday 27 December 2014 4:48

did you happen to see a genetically mutated raccoon anywhere near you?

lovinloki 9

Wednesday 4 February 2015 1:19

It was rocket raccoon and starlord!!

zarabsegin 16

Monday 13 April 2015 20:47

Excuse me, sir. I have a plan. I need your leg.

DarkCvengence 15

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:37

dude thats a lowlife peice of shit if you find him beat him with the leg

baka4815 21

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:23

Rocket, give it back

mattzawesome 28

Sunday 11 October 2015 23:42

Every other FML " I went out for a night of drinking" YDI to hell, "I have a prosthetic leg" immediate FML.

LenUrban 14

Monday 8 August 2016 19:49

Some1 else woke up after a night out with a prosthetic leg

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, a creepy-looking guy asked me if I "like bananas" and I said no. He then followed with "Do you want to taste my banana?" Shocked by his boldness, I froze. My boyfriend, who had heard the entire exchange, just laughed and walked off, leaving me with the creeper. FML

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Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

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Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

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Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

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Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

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Today, I argued with my mom that I deserved enough independence to ride my bike to school. Halfway there, I realized I was so out of shape that I had to call her for a ride. FML

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