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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

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    Dogs Messy Animals Cute Love ACAB Cops Miscellaneous Thief NSFW Sex Intimacy Fight #FAFO Parents Sexism Kids Swimming pool Disney Money Abuse Health Gross Poopoo peepee Farts Cheating Shopping Weird Vacation Holidays
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    Today, my girlfriend won’t give me oral because she doesn't like pubes, so I trimmed them; she refused again because they felt prickly, so I waxed them. Now she says I look like a little boy. If she doesn’t want to suck cock, why won’t she just say so instead of hinting she might if I shaved? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 351
    You deserved it 418
    Today, I went on a date with a beautiful woman I had recently met. Great food, great conversation, and a great connection. That is, until she revealed that she is a lesbian. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 168
    You deserved it 351
    Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 30 391
    You deserved it 4 931
    Today my neighbor's asked me to feed their two horses while they go on vacation for a month. I happily agreed. As they were getting in the car to drive off, they added, "Oh, and water the plants!" They have six acres. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 13 483
    You deserved it 1 236
    Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out, "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by, "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 620
    You deserved it 5 741
    Today, my friends and I were kicked out of a Red Robin after the manager told us that our server accused us of making "sexually suggestive gestures" towards her. The gesture in question was the circle game. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 131
    You deserved it 1 510
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