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Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    By Bitchy girl who doesn't put out - 07/04/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 40
    You deserved it 247
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    Noob

    By Pete - 08/04/2026 00:00 - United States

    Today, I’m a gym newbie and finally worked up the nerve to use the squat rack. I loaded a very modest weight but still felt proud. Halfway through, I realized I’d set up directly in front of the mirror… backwards. I was basically doing awkward half-squats facing everyone else, and two people were politely trying not to laugh behind me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39
    You deserved it 14
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    Keywords

    Cooking Miscellaneous Awkward Work Embarrassing Health Sports Relatable Airplanes Kids Transportation I need your advice AITA Love Parenting Frustration NSFW Sex Intimacy Covid Funerals Money Family Social Media Wanker Porn Cute Alcohol Garden Dating
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    Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 23 144
    You deserved it 5 654
    Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 11 345
    You deserved it 37 017
    Today, my mom and dad went off somewhere for some alone time together. My mom had apparently turned her phone off and my dad left his at home. In that span of time, my brother had accidentally locked himself out of his house, and my sister was also trying to get a hold of them, and now are asking me where they're at. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 687
    You deserved it 173
    Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 139
    You deserved it 3 037
    Today, was just another exhausting day in which I cater to the needs of my kids, my cat, and my boss. I work opposite hours from my wife, we barely have energy to catch up and plan chores. I sleep 5 hours a day tops and have to work out daily so my back doesn't hurt. I'm burned out. I don't know what I need but I need it now. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 406
    You deserved it 93
    Today, I went to the company's health clinic to treat muscle spasms and a possible cracked rib. In the process the old quack doc and overly eager nurses wound up giving me a storng laxative and 3 enemas, two of them quite large. Then I still had to return to work. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 534
    You deserved it 327
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