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Bad timing?

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 00:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 87

Lost in music

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 00:00

Today, I was listening to music with headphones in my usually quiet class. At one point I really got into the song so I just quietly sang along because why not. Turns out by the end of the song I was singing at full volume, almost yelling, and my friend stopped me to say that. The entire back row was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 618

CTE maxxing

By brokeskull - 20/03/2026 09:00

Today, we were heckling a friend who showed up to skate wearing a helmet, laughing at him for not being confident in his skating. I go to stunt so I can mog him, slip, and wake up in the hospital with stitches and a killer headache. Mogged by a helmet wearer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 085

No escape

By Anonymous - 22/03/2026 03:00

Today, I was all set and ready to leave my cheating, narcissistic husband. I couldn't because my kids wouldn't come with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 130

Passport bro

By ThaidUp - 31/03/2026 00:00

Today, I realized being a passport bro cost me my life’s savings and $40k credit card debt. I married a beautiful petite Thai girl molded out of my dreams, only for her to tell me six years later that she’s leaving me for her husband in Thailand. She’s a US Citizen now (thanks to me), and is now gonna sponsor him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 772

Scared flaccid

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend met my dad and my brother, and is now shit scared of them. I was hoping to lose my virginity to him this weekend but he’s so scared of what my dad would do if he ever found out that he couldn’t get hard no matter what I did. Thanks a lot dad, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 153

Family time comes first

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I lost my job because my mom and stepdad forced me to go on our family vacation, even though my time off got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 123

Share the shame

By Ughh - 05/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I learned why a guy at work hates me when he drunkenly confessed it at a work retreat. Apparently I look like a gay teenager he had a horrible awkward one-night stand with, and every time he sees me he gets mad at himself. I could have gone my whole life without knowing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 58

Suspicious activity

By Loss prevention - 14/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I caught a dude acting suspicious in the self checkout at Target and took him to the Loss Prevention office. Turns out he'd paid for everything, and he turned into such a Karen at being "wrongly detained" that I ended up giving him a gift card just to get rid of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 683

Accidental exposure

By trauma - 16/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my three year-old son excitedly went to the window to watch the construction site next door. He does this all the time and it's adorable… at least, it was until a man got run over by a bulldozer with him watching. He screamed for hours and now cries if I don't keep the curtains closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 72

Bad grandma

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm grounded for literally the whole summer because my parents found out that I was still seeing my grandma behind their backs, even though they banned her from ever seeing us again after she spanked my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 128

Obsessed

By Anonymous - 01/06/2026 15:00 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my ex, whom I dumped in 2024 because she stopped caring about me or what I did, is stalking online someone I have just started dating. She went to her workplace, then called me to tell me I'm hers and she will never let "the other woman" take me from her. Not sure if I like the indifferent one or the jealous psycho less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 44

Stained for life

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 03:00 - China

Today, someone left a lipstick in a public laundry machine of our student dormitory. Then, an hour ago, when I put my laundry in it (including my underwear), I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 72

Culinary experience

By Jenny - 17/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy. I looked at the menu and yelled, "Who puts caramel on onions? EW!" I then learned that "caramelized onion" is not caramel covered onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 747

Kinda weird

By ButWhy - 21/06/2026 03:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my son is incapable of sleeping alone because my husband keeps co-sleeping with him, stating, "He's going to be a kid for only a little while." The same guy who forced me to stop co-sleeping with the same kid because, "Kids need to be independent." The hypocrisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 79

Sniffles

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife got drunk and adopted a kitten. She thought I’d be mad because of the money. Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m mad because I have the most severe type of cat allergy that could kill me. I can’t go in the house now until everything is sterilised, so I’m back at my dad's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 71

It's not that deep

By Anonymous - 08/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I really think my girlfriend is secretly bisexual and is cheating on me. Reading through her texts, she and her “best friend” are always calling each other beautiful, saying "I love you", and other weird stuff like that. Other members of their friend group do it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 556

Unreliable narrator?

By Shattered - 27/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my wife's sister called with a confession. My wife never wanted children, but I did, but I thought she'd miscarried the first two, so we stopped trying. Her sister confessed that she'd actually aborted them and lied to me. We picked out names for them and she aborted them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 161

Territorial Pissings

By El Camino - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 668

You deserved it 5 179

Strange verbiage

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to compliment a woman’s scarf by saying, “That’s a nice wrap!” She misheard me and thought I said, “Nice rack!” She glared at me and loudly said, “Excuse me?!” in front of about twenty people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 121

Oh shit

By TGIF - 09/11/2025 00:00

Today, I received a package labeled “Confidential.” Excited, I opened it in front of my coworkers, thinking it was a PR gift. It was the new toilet seat I'd mistakenly sent to my work address instead of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 463

Freud would have field day

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 139

Thanks, neighbor

By nobody - 12/11/2025 15:00

Today, my dad was drunk and angry, so I went to the neighbor's since I didn't know what to do. He was so nice and comforted me as I cried. Then his wife came home, called him a pedophile, beat me, and threw me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 65

Nervous

By Anonymous - 14/11/2025 09:00

Today, I met a blind date from a dating app. He looked nothing like his pictures, but I tried to be polite. I said, “Wow, you look different in person!” He smiled and said, “That’s not me. He’s probably just running late, and I’m just sitting here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 150

It's the most wonderful time of the year (nearly)

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 22:00

Today, ever since the day we met, me and my wife haven’t cared about Xmas at all except for exchanging a few gifts. Well I don’t know what happened but I got home from work and she had bought £1800 worth of Xmas shit and decorated every room and the garden. In November. What? Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 94

Honey, I'm home!

By Anonymous - 26/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 100

Billie Jean

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 15:00

Today, despite my warnings, my mother continues to go see my ex's son and encourage her to get more child support from me. They both say that because I signed the birth certificate, that makes that baby mine. I don't think he is, and I'm currently with someone else, with my first real son on the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 625

Get back here

By JANES - 18/12/2025 03:00

Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 73

Happy New Year!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2021 but it's good stuff

Today, my New Year’s Eve consisted of four things: being home alone, drinking cheap alcohol out of a tooth mug, getting an upset stomach from that, then going to bed early with ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 367

I'm fine, I swear

By Duped - 06/01/2026 15:00

Today, I realized the reason my neighbor keeps smiling awkwardly at me is because I’ve been waving enthusiastically at their security camera every morning, thinking it was a motion-activated light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 357

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The Top

Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 920

You deserved it 1 682

Today, I was watching the news. Apparently a local pizza shop was shut down after pictures of a hundred cockroaches scuttling on the make table were posted online. In my hand was a slice of the pizza I had ordered there yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 040

You deserved it 518

Today, while buying laxatives at a store, the cashier loudly declared that I'm "too pretty" to be constipated. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 127

Today, I made breakfast for the family. Perfect. Did all the Laundry. Great. Drove the one and a half hour round trip to take my stepdaughter to work. Blah. Finished off by doing some housework and cooking dinner. The dinner wasn't perfect, and my wife told me that for all the good I do, I ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 126

Today, we had a visit from the bailiffs and police. It turns out my partner has been lying about paying his half of the bills and destroying letters about it. Now I have to find an extra £3k during a cost of living crisis and attend court. This is on top of bailiffs forcefully entering and taking most of our things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 137

Today, I caught my neighbor peeping through his toilet window to watch my sister bathing in our bathroom. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me he was doing what he always does when my sister is bathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 60