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The truth

By Anonymous - 31/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my aging father mentioned something off-hand about me maybe changing my mind about someday having kids. The truth is my husband and I would love to, but I’m not able. I don’t have the heart to tell him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 90

Where is my mind?

By Anonymous - 01/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I spent minutes trying to open my apartment door before realizing I was one floor above my own. My terrified neighbor watched me struggle with my keys through their peephole the entire time, until he yelled "I'M CALLING 911!" and I realized where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 297

Spineless

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 154

You deserved it 3 678

Reality check

By that's a low blow bro - 05/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was staying at a friend's, and I called my girlfriend in the morning to serenade her awake with a sweet song. My friend stared at me, then shook his head and said, "I suddenly understand why you got cheated on in the past." FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 371

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 09/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to catch a spider with a cup. I missed, dropped the cup, and now neither the spider nor I know where the other one is. Spiders freak me out, but I was trying to deal with it humanely, so I hope it remembers that fact if and when we meet again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 118

Any good news? Any at all?

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 15:00 - United States - Warren

Today, while getting a followup to my MRI, my doctor joked that he "had bad news, and more bad news." Apparently my bulging discs were pressing on my spinal column, which was causing my back pain. The other bad news was my hip pain, it's caused by torn cartilage in there. I need to see two different specialists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 66

I don't wanna go

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home after spending the past two months at summer camp, just for my parents to excitedly announce that I'm going to be spending the next two weeks in Florida with my grandma. We have to leave in literally a couple hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 58

Mom knows best

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my mom once again told me that I'm too young and immature to get married, and that I don't know what love is. I'm 29, have a successful career, own my own home, and am financially stable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 68

Quack

By Anonymous - 17/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I stopped at a park because a duck was following me. I assumed it wanted food, so I gave it a small piece of bread. It followed me to my car, waited beside the door, and then followed me across the parking lot. I may have accidentally adopted a duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 138

Raincheck?

By Anonymous - 21/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, it was my classmate’s turn to host our study group. Her house was a total nightmare! Every surface was covered in junk, the walls were smeared, and there was a thick layer of trash on the floor. She casually swept crumbs off the couch and motioned for me to sit down. I saw roaches and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 62

What are you doing?

By soembarassed - 23/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I was visiting friends in the country, and the property next to theirs has cows. Bored, I walked over to the fence and looked at a cow, who trundled over to the other side of the fence. I then saw the farmer staring at me and for some reason I said, "Just saying hi to your cow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 234

OK, that's that cleared up

By Zacharian - 02/08/2026 00:00 - United States - Pittsburg

Today, I found out my hot Mormon neighbors can be gay, but they can’t act on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 271

XXX rated

By Anonymous - 03/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Winchester

Today, I finally acted on a fantasy and did a bondage shoot video. The first comment on the clip was, "Hard watch. Fat as hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 166

Threat level: Baked

By Anonymous - 09/08/2026 03:00 - Australia

Today, I opened a bag of flour a little too enthusiastically and it blew up. The resulting cloud of flour set off my smoke alarm. My neighbors then came knocking, wondering if the building was on fire, while I stood there looking like I'd been pranked by a baker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 118

Paper thin

By Anonymous - 10/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home with stomach pain and immediately did a 10 second long farting, splattering, spluttering shit into the toilet. Now I know the walls are thin in my flat, but I wasn’t expecting the hot guy next door to say to me through the wall, “Jesus, are you alright in there?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 101

SHUT UP!

By Annoyed - 14/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my smoke alarm started chirping at 3 a.m. I replaced the battery, reset it, and got back into bed. Five minutes later, it chirped again. I searched for the source before realizing it was my roommate's alarm clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 67

Better sorry than safe

By Dumb bitch (RIP Zeus) - 18/08/2026 00:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, as I was preparing to clear an overgrown area of our yard, I treated my pants and shoes with permethrin, as ticks are a problem in my area. I told my girlfriend explicitly NOT to let the cat out for the day, as it is deadly to cats. She didn't listen and now I have to dig a grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 96

Ravage me!

By Anonymous - 19/08/2026 20:00 - France

Today, wildfires are unfortunately ravaging a place dear to my heart, and displacing people. My family decided to offer accommodation to displaced people. That’s the story of how the man I am secretely in love with ended up sleeping in my bed and me, not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 86

My hobbies include…

By Anonymous - 21/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out my husband is addicted to porn. Granted, it's free porn and he has not spent a single dollar on anything (I saw the bank statements), but it's still just tearing my heart apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 189

Emergency!

By Anonymous - 23/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I got my kids busy, so I took a shower. I heard banging on the door. “MOM! Emergency!” I wrapped myself in a towel and opened the door expecting some catastrophe. My 6-year-old said, “Where do we keep the spoons?” I stared at him. “The drawer.” “Oh. OK.” Then walked off. I stood there dripping, wondering how I had become the emergency spoon consultant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 80

Productivity

By Anonymous - 25/08/2026 09:00 - Canada

Today, it's been three days since I started using a habit-tracking app to become more productive. I created goals for exercising, reading, cleaning, drinking water, and going to bed early. Now after three days, I'd spent more time checking the app than doing any of the things it was tracking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 220

Bad first impression

By Anonymous - 27/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I got stung by a wasp a few hours before work. On my boob. I was in pain, so I took a bunch of Benadryl and wound up falling asleep. I woke up to my very sweet manager calling to see if I was dead. Oh, and to tell me that I'm getting a new manager. Who was trying to set up a meet and great with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 89

Blur

By Blind as a bat - 29/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent almost 10 minutes cleaning my glasses because everything looked blurry. The problem wasn't my glasses. I was actually wearing my sister's, who apparently got almost the same frames as mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 128

Toast

By [email protected] - 31/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Garden City

Today I watched my 90 year-old father-in-law's friend dip an entire piece of bread into her wine glass, swish it around with her fork, and then eat it. In a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 86

Love U 2

By Kellie99 - 03/08/2026 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, for some unknown reason, I called my boss "Mum" at the end of a meeting. She paused, smiled, and said, "Aww, love you too, kiddo." The rest of the team in the room lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 186

Clean break

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was let go from my stepmom's family business because she and my dad are getting a divorce, and she says it's too painful and awkward to have me still hired on. I can't afford a wrongful termination suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 64

Cross examination

By don't know what to feel - 11/08/2026 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, my husband told me the hottest thing I'd ever done was when he pranked me, saying he was in legal trouble, and I told him what to do to stay out of jail. As he put it, I'm "a sexy Saul Goodman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 113

Send em

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, like millions of others before me, I decided to start a YouTube channel. I was thorough, bought all the camera gear, decided on my content, came up with a gimmick, the works. The very first comment I got on my very first video was a request for nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 156

Discreet

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I tried to discreetly remove a tiny piece of spinach from my teeth during a meeting. I was looking into my phone camera when I realized I wasn't on the front camera. I had been staring at the meeting in progress through the rear camera for thirty seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 303

Arm day

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 09:00 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I went out on a second date with this girl, who touched my bicep when I told her I haven't been to the gym since a long time. She asked me to flex it, I did, and it remained the same size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 159

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The Top

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 145

You deserved it 39 940

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 884

You deserved it 57 475

Today, I walked in on my little brother dressing up like Billie Eilish, his new favorite singer. He tore up some of my favorite clothes to make the outfits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 161

Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 320

Today, my mother is such a helicopter parent, she wouldn’t let me go to my first appointment with my new gynaecologist without being in the room, to “keep an eye on him”. When I told her to stay out, she started screaming in the waiting room that I was going to be raped without her there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 361

You deserved it 112

Today, after going to the convenience store and getting my card declined, the clerk let me come back home with all the things I'd bought so I could look for money and pay with cash instead, so I went back to pay a few minutes later. Karma paid back the goodwill 3 minutes later by making me burn my left hand with boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 248