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By Sooz - 03/10/2013 01:18 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 460

You deserved it 5 851

By Maestro - 01/12/2008 06:09 - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 586

You deserved it 4 058

By yollew - 25/11/2011 06:27 - United States

Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 774

You deserved it 30 122

Kitten Struggles

By FML Videos - 23/09/2018 18:30

Well that's adorable.

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 92

Morbid cringe

By Anonymous - 15/08/2020 02:02

Today, I realized just how pathetic my life is when I found myself fascinated by videos that a woman posts on YouTube of her removing ingrown hairs and zits from people’s private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 344

Priorities

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 20:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, despite being an incredible single mother to my only child, and loving him more than anyone else could, my son still completely ignored me and my attempts to hug him at his gender reveal party with his wife. Apparently she deserved a hug more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 2 176

By friend loves a gay guy... - 23/09/2013 20:49 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 230

You deserved it 3 925

Classy

By Eww - 17/11/2021 20:02

Today, I decided to be nice and do the laundry for the whole family. Apparently, all the guys in the family have skid marks on both the back AND THE FRONT of their underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 152

Fashion Struggles

By FML Videos - 28/09/2018 00:30

Beauty is pain!

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 79

Poultry

By sparkynobe - 30/12/2016 08:24 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, a co-worker asked me what meat we use for the drumsticks. We work in a chicken factory. This co-worker also thought that spreading out the chicken wings more evenly in the tray would increase the overall weight of the product. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 012

You deserved it 276

Just a friend

By UnluckyTh1rteen - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend went to get coffee with a friend. As a joke, I texted him to ask how his date with his other girlfriend was going. It really was a date, and apparently it went very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 293

By Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia - 04/01/2015 01:30 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 310

You deserved it 5 944

Conspiracy watch

By Veeee32 - 18/11/2021 07:58

Today, I got screamed at by my mom for about 10 minutes because she claims I’m ruining my diet by drinking sparkling water, claiming it’s “soda”. I had to explain that it has zero sugar, calories, etc. She told me that it’s “the same fucking shit.” And to not trust “the government food labels.” Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 159

Construction Fail

By FML Videos - 09/10/2018 00:30

Tear down that wall!

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 173

Misunderstanding

By lebanesewoman - 30/06/2009 16:17 - Hong Kong

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 036

You deserved it 3 948

By I knew it! - 02/11/2018 22:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I woke up to 6 missed calls. I called back to find a woman asking how I know her boyfriend after seeing our texts. I told her he's been my boyfriend for 4 months, and she told me he's been hers for over a year. He vehemently denied knowing who I am as I spoke, even with obvious proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 155

You deserved it 313

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 808

You deserved it 2 820

By wdavi022 - 05/01/2011 09:01

Today, I found out my identity was stolen. The person got credit cards in my name and didn't pay the bills, which has ruined my near perfect credit. The worst part about all of this is that I can't turn the person in. It's my mom, and sending her to jail wouldn't really work out for anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 507

You deserved it 5 455

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 114

You deserved it 16 289

By BetrayedGirl - 13/01/2010 12:40 - United States

Today, my friend told me men can't be trusted. I told her that wasn't true; I have my husband's password to his email but I never check it because I trust him. She bet me he was doing something bad, and to prove her wrong I looked. Turns out he has been cheating on me for 8 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 959

You deserved it 5 522

By silkysmooth - 31/10/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 960

You deserved it 5 504

By Extravirgin - 16/12/2014 12:01 - Germany - Munich

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 763

You deserved it 8 307

Road rage

By Hayley - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 065

You deserved it 4 665

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 00:48 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 876

You deserved it 7 343

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 23:21 - United States

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 537

You deserved it 11 877

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 735

You deserved it 4 750

By StupidBerk - 17/09/2012 23:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 636

You deserved it 3 169

Stop talking!

By notsoclean - 24/12/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 539

You deserved it 3 704

Threesome weirdness

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 02:01

Today, my roommate informed me that I need to move out, due to me having sex with his boyfriend. Even though he gave us permission, and told us to use protection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 1 293

Let down

By anonymous - 21/06/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 281

You deserved it 17 296

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The Top

Today, I was trying to use the video editing software on my computer for a group project. It then wanted me to purchase another program that cost over $130. One of my teammates told me to buy it, because, "I could afford to skip a few lunches." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 589

You deserved it 950

Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 029

You deserved it 2 744

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 053

You deserved it 46 484

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 189

You deserved it 3 312

Today, I went to a restaurant in a casino, thinking I wouldn’t have to deal with any kids. There was one family with rowdy toddlers and a baby, all crying and being loud. Guess where the restaurant seated us? There goes my child-free outing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 254

Today, I felt like surprising my coworkers by bringing donuts. Feeling generous, I got a dozen from the most reputable bakery in town. On my way to the office, I tripped, and the box flew open, scattering donuts everywhere. A group of pigeons swooped in and devoured them before I could recover. I spent $30 on pigeon breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 145