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I agree, I probably I deserved it for making him go, but we've been dating for a year and a half and I figured it was way passed time. Haha! It was extremely awkward and my boyfriend I were both beet red in the face, but luckily my parents are awesome and know he was super nervous, so they just kinda changed the subject and pretended that was never said. My brother high fived him. And yes.. more like F his life.

They're after us!

By Stevie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 288

You deserved it 3 951

By Kelly - 26/05/2019 20:30

Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 152

By Ugh - 13/12/2016 14:39

Today, at my work in a self-service chinese restaurant, a lady came up to me, pointed to the plate she loaded with honey king prawns, and yelled at me because she was allergic to seafood. She demanded a refund and another plate. Everything is clearly labeled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 210

You deserved it 533

Back in fashion (Oppenheimer dolls not so much)

By JGarz - 10/10/2015 07:21 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 322

You deserved it 2 733

By InsaneIdiots - 07/06/2019 04:10

Today, after recovering from surgery, I was leaving the clinic when a bucket of red paint was thrown at me, and a woman shouted that I was a murderer. I replied, "Sorry, would you like me to ask the doctor for my ovarian cyst back so I can pretend it was a fetus?" She hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 054

You deserved it 192

Amazing

By Quest for fun - 20/05/2017 04:00

Today, I was on a bus traveling from Denver to San Francisco with my boyfriend. We hoping to see some amazing sights and escape from stress. However, the bus breaking down in the middle of the desert and being forced to stay in a ratty motel was neither an amazing sight, nor stress relieving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 425

You deserved it 395

Farmville

By unwilling redneck - 24/05/2013 22:48 - United States

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 4 604

By DisappointedDaughter - 26/06/2019 16:03

Today, I’m counting the things my mother has broken or ruined since I let her move in with me a year ago. So far, the list contains a Christmas tree, my power drill, a toaster oven, inherited kitchen knives, an expensive bath towel set, multiple kitchen gadgets, a flatbed scanner and a laser printer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 804

You deserved it 281

By pinkrazorsare4men - 16/11/2016 00:51

Today, whilst taking a shower, I noticed my razor wasn't in its usual spot. Upon inspecting it closer, I noticed that there were tiny white hairs in it. When confronting my father about it, he claimed the "pink razors" are his. We've been sharing the same razor this entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 890

You deserved it 905

By joanikens - 14/11/2016 07:20

Today, I was so broke, I couldn't come up with enough change to pay the parking meter at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 262

You deserved it 1 061

By fyreangel - 10/11/2016 21:39 - United States - Warren

Today, I replaced my dating apps with food apps cause at least someone will show up after I use the food apps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 372

You deserved it 973

By mala_19 - 12/06/2017 14:00 - Sweden

Today, at work, I had to help a teenager who was stuck in a toy car for kids, and no, it was not in one piece when she finally got out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 172

You deserved it 262

By shanson - 07/11/2016 14:06 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my mother lectured me for not spending enough time with her. We literally just got back from a 10 day vacation together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 776

You deserved it 835

By thisiswhyimsingle - 14/09/2015 05:17 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I decided to to gather up the courage to ask the cute boy in my math class for his number. He gave it to me, and I texted him later that night. But little did I know he actually gave me the number of the creep in class who is always grabbing my ass. I ended up asking the creep out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 165

You deserved it 3 503

By Anonymous - 21/09/2010 22:07 - United States

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 998

You deserved it 3 981

Not a good look

By Da Boss - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Calgary

Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 273

You deserved it 2 067

By ealovan - 24/08/2015 04:18 - United States - Des Moines

Today, a homeless man asked me for some change. Not having any cash, I gave him a gift card for the restaurant I work at. When I got home I realized I gave him my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 748

You deserved it 14 782

ealovan tells us more.

ealovan 20

Tuesday 25 August 2015 7:14

op here. it's always cool when your FML gets posted because in a weird way it makes the situation a little bit better lol. just some clarification, i started this job a little over a month ago and when i went to the orientation, they gave us $15 dollar gift cards. it was after a 9 hour shift when this sweet old man asked for some change. i remembered i had this gift card in my wallet for a month now and figured he would benefit from it more than i would. i was tired and it was dark outside, but i should have payed more attention. once i realized this mistake i quickly went back to my work, and luckily he was still there. he was very sweet and figured i handed him the wrong card, i gave him the right card and now everyones happy. i'm just glad it was him because god knows what any other person would have done with it.

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 09:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 465

You deserved it 4 659