By b5b0n36 - 06/03/2016 02:38 - United States - Los Angeles
The Top
b5b0n36 tells us more.
Likely story
By Gabriela - 23/11/2011 01:00
Go for it, Susan!
By NotHungryAnymore - 01/03/2016 15:46 - United States - Rochester
By stillloveherthough - 26/02/2016 17:54 - Germany - Aachen
By FuglyBetty - 24/02/2016 22:48 - Norway - Arendal
How could you?
By Harry641 - 23/02/2016 22:53 - United Kingdom - Hounslow
By OPforonepiece - 19/02/2016 14:38 - Netherlands - Delft
By Anonymous - 24/10/2018 14:00
One weird technique
By NotYourTracy - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
By Anonymous - 27/01/2016 17:11 - United States - Minneapolis
By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia
By SexxiKitty - 19/12/2015 22:45 - United States - San Francisco
SexxiKitty tells us more.
Hey everyone! OP here hoping to give you all some clarity! First off, I wasn't high but I was tired and I wasn't wearing my glasses. I live on a farm in the middle of bumble-**** nowhere and we have a small tree, about 5'6" tall, a little ways off our back porch. It was about 2:00 a.m. and my young daughter had gotten sick on her sheets so I was running to put them in the washing machine (which is in the barn) so that they wouldn't stain. I heard a rustling sound and I thought I saw a person moving out of the corner of my eye. Without my glasses and the fact that it was really dark mixed with my overall anxiety because my husband wasn't home caused me to drop the sheets and run back into the house to protect my kids. I know it's stupid and really horrible that I wasted precious resources on something so trivial but I was terrified. My husband is the head of a very small drug task force and even though we live in a pretty sleepy town, he still gets threats now and again. Furthermore we recently moved from Sacramento because I was almost kidnapped about 2 years ago while I was walking home from the park with my kids and I didn't want to take ANY chances. I was treated with respect by the great officers who came out and my husband was immediately notified. He wasn't able to come home right away but one of his off duty officers came by and stayed on the couch the rest of the night. Thank you all for the well wishes and I appreciate all the great puns!! :)
Tipsy
By Anon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville
An FML Photo captioned by hoperpq. Well done!
By hoperpq - 28/02/2017 09:36 - France - Paris
By jimmy - 30/11/2015 21:27 - Canada - Orangeville
By Secret Isis supporter - 19/11/2015 00:52 - United States - San Francisco
By Anonymous - 26/04/2019 18:00
By Anonymous - 08/11/2015 06:15 - Canada - Gatineau
By college student - 23/04/2017 10:00 - United States - College Park
Move!
By Anonymous - 07/05/2009 19:11 - Italy
By sciencetime - 10/12/2016 11:33
By Anonymous - 12/06/2019 02:10
By INside - 02/08/2011 04:52 - United States
By hickhick - 07/07/2019 04:00
So similar
By StillLoveMyDogs - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco
By AgentKoos_99 - 11/10/2016 07:52 - South Africa - Johannesburg
By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill
Kids say the dumbest things…
By Marymary - 27/08/2019 20:00
Busted
By douchetard - 26/03/2009 07:37 - United States
By Bg2466 - 15/08/2016 03:17 - United States - Pittsburgh
Keywords
hey, OP here. thanks for the suggestion! I will look into it cause chilli powder was a horrible disaster hahaha