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By shavednipples - 11/10/2015 17:59 - United States - Lake Forest
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Hey y'all! Just to clarify, my brother is the same age as me (we're twins). When I told him I wasn't going to like his post (it was just a video of a fireworks show), he took a chicken breast and slapped me. We were preparing chicken for dinner that night, so it was already out and thawed. I did end up getting salmonella, however, I'm not sure if it was from the slap or from eating the chicken itself at dinner. Either way, it was shitty. Also, about my username, I use it for a lot of social media accounts and I've had this account for a while. I know if you don't have an account, you can choose a name to post it under and it usually has to do with the post, but that wasn't the case here. Cheers!!
Keywords
Wow, it got published! Wasn't expecting that. For starters, let me just announce NO BROKEN BONES! HALLELUJAH! Seriously is a miracle. Just a super bruised foot. Second, just to give you an idea, this particular mate is the head honcho if my barn. She thinks she is just queen of the world lol. She hates getting her girth out on, and she knows when it's out. When you hook it up on one side (so it isn't even on yet) she gets PISSED. So that day she decided to just step on me and not move, no matter what I did. I didn't clarify that I did punch her in the shoulder, but this mare, dear lord, she just does not care. That's when she shifted ALL of her weight onto that foot. I wasn't wearing my (much more protective) barn boots because I was late for my lesson and needed to hurry. So instead of grooming and tacking in my barn boots I had my tall boots on. I've actually been bitten by the same mare, for the same reason (girth), and that was probably an even more awful bruise than my foot! I seriously don't know how I get away with just bruises. And I know what you're thinking, "Why do you keep working with her when she injures you 24/7?!" Well, she's an amazing horse, just very sassy lol. Also, to whoever said they had no sympathy for me because I owned a lot of horses so hospital bills would not be a problem, you're just dumb. I could've been forever crippled, and you said you have no sympathy? I could've been forced to never compete again. And you have no sympathy? Wow. I'm not on here looking for everyone's sympathy, don't get me wrong, I actually found the whole incident hilarious. But that was EXTREMELY inconsiderate of you to say that. Thanks for all the good wishes!!!! Smushed Sophie out! :) -OP