By anon - 26/12/2013 12:08 - Australia
The Top
Dicknugget!
By 3-wheeler - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom
By Spike - 29/03/2011 18:08 - United States
Lowered expectations
By dac5 - 12/04/2020 05:00
By ouchmytits - 28/03/2011 06:42 - United States
By Anonymous - 26/03/2011 22:26 - United States
Poor Raymond
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Halloween tomorrow, kids!
By Nickeleye - 30/10/2022 16:00 - United Kingdom
By ;_; - 19/12/2013 22:13 - Canada - Burlington
By Fatty - 06/03/2010 13:05 - United States
Alexa, play "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath
By ugh mom! - 22/04/2020 20:00
Creeped out
By gymgirl - 17/12/2013 23:48 - United States - Grand Prairie
By stinky - 24/01/2012 08:15 - United States
By RustyGuy - 05/03/2010 18:31 - Canada
RustyGuy tells us more.
By feenix89 - 09/02/2009 23:41 - United States
feenix89 tells us more.
yeah, she goes through phases where she says she's Christian. We dated for about a year, we started dating and she sat me down to ask if I was a Christian too. We had sex 3 weeks into our relationship, and then for another 9 months, and we stopped to 'get closer to God' And I also think it was around that time she started nailing my friend. And she still has yet to understand why I don't want to talk to her
By mer - 08/02/2009 23:34 - United States
By Scumbagmemory - 22/01/2012 04:17 - United States
Rock, hard place
By coius - 06/05/2020 08:00
Protein source
By Anonymous - 14/08/2021 00:01 - United States - Chicago
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
By ReginaW - 14/03/2024 12:00 - United States
By Anonymous - 13/12/2013 03:47 - United States
Gas giant
By StinkBomber - 11/08/2021 08:01 - United States - San Jose
By Lemurcat - 11/12/2013 16:56 - United States - Ventura
Lemurcat tells us more.
I did not expect this to get published! Just to fill you guys in a bit, I did check the buses before leaving home since I just moved here the day before. I like to double check because my memory is poor so I did ask the bus driver, but she said she didn't go to that perticular bus stop (the bus stop near my house for those who are wondering, and yes, she did stop there, she was just confused because I didn't know the streets and was describing landmarks) and she kinda just blew me off. So I was standing around, confused like an idiot and this guy told me to take bus 6. He sounded like he was legitamently trying to help, and I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, so stupid me took his advice. However, I'm not the kind of person to confront people so, I just called him a dickhole and walked away. I wish I could tell you guys that I kicked his ass, but oh well. I did figure out the buses and I'm riding like a pro now. And I even got a booklet to help me if I'm ever lost again. :D
By littmild - 02/03/2010 13:42 - Norway
littmild tells us more.
The party wasn't at my girlfriends house, no.. Can't imagine why people think he would be pissed, it's just incredibly funny, and something we could laugh about for years. This is actually my first time posting anything here, the first time I've ever read comments, and I have to say I'm quite shocked how many people who misundertands this website. Like people who thinks you post things like this to get sympathy, or this ongoing debate on my alcohol consumption. I can't actually believe that there is people in this world who doesn't have more important things to do. Why isn't FML filled with "Today, I didn't have anything else to do than post negative comments on FML. FML." I feel a burden has been lifted off my shoulders, people! I felt a bit stupid for what I've done, but now I know I have a long way to go to beat some of you. And yes, I look good naked. Unfortunatly I was wearing socks that made me look rather fat.
By iltdtsm - 15/08/2009 16:58 - Canada
By jsmills92 - 21/12/2012 00:26 - United States - Cranston
By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 03:19 - United States
Kids these days…
By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 18:00
By Anonymous - 12/03/2011 23:18 - United States
Love is… strange
By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 02:01
Keywords
To add to the details: 1) The Pillowcase is part of a full set, so if I can't manage to get the blood out... and anyone who has tried removing dried blood knows its friggen hard... It's going to be very hard to find a matching replacement. 2) The reason I was so tired is because I'm an animation student at BCIT, and am working my ass off to finish my demoreel on time. I haven't had a proper nights sleep in quite some time. Still; i probably should have grabbed a tissue.